Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML
Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML
Today, my pregnant wife has been crying for hours after she found out that I’d slept with the woman who does her ultrasounds. That woman happened to have been my prom date nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea she moved back in town, let alone worked for our doctor. FML
Today, I went to have a vaginal ultrasound. The nurse walked me back and I got undressed. She said the tech doing the procedure would be right in. It was my preacher's son. FML
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Top comments
judgeymcjudge 0
Not to rag on everyone's perception here, but has anyone considered that she's not pregnant, so that has nothing to do with it? It just says ultrasound - ultrasounds are not only used for pregnancy, but for heaps of things. Some women have to have them regularly for check ups in regards to gyno issues, and plenty of people need them for stomach and digestive system issues... Taking that into account, all I see is a woman bitching about her husband slacking off in the sex department. If that is the case, OP, then your husband is a fool. Men everywhere would kill for a wife that wanted MORE sex, and even more for a wife who thinks a few weeks without sex is FML-worthy. Give him a bit of a wake up call, and hopefully things get better for you.
Astroman129 7
I'll take a look at your intimate parts.
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Comments (98)
penizulaface 0
...lucky bitch.
seanreddog 4
Today, I realized I've only exposed myself three times in the last two weeks. FML Two weeks without sex!!! Omg, your life is ruined.
bugmenotmofo 34
Prepare to get a ton of people saying "I'll take a look at your intimate parts". Keep in mind that this is the internet.
Astroman129 7
I'll take a look at your intimate parts.
MagicMeds 0
You're married! Do you expect for someone to see your intimate parts in some sexual way? LOL! xD
MagicMeds 0
**** I meant pregnant, not married.
brutallyhonest24 0
ultrasound?, well the reason why would obviously be that your pregnant, so get a abortion or wait until you have the kid. its your choice really.
DameGreyWulf 1
Actually, a lot of husbands usually find the pregnancy thing sexy. Must be the "THAT'S MY BABY IN THERE" thing or something. She should try masturbating. All the extra blood flow will make it easy as pie. And she should talk to her husband too. See if he generally is turned off or if he has some other things bothering him about it. OP, try these: http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/pregnancy/sex_pregnancy.html http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/sexuality/a/sexinpreg.htm http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/sexuality/a/pregsex.htm http://www.babycenter.com/sex-during-pregnancy-overview or google "pregnancy and sex" like I did
dudeitsdanny 10
Ultrasounds are used for things other than pregnancies.
DameGreyWulf 1
Yes, of course they are. However, OP also mentioned a doctor checking her out. It's reasonable to think ultrasound + vag exam + OP complaining about not being serviced (in light of how many idiots there apparently are when it comes to sex and pregnancy) = baby, or the possibility of one.
penizulaface 0
^i should motherf*ingly shoot you. i dont get the whole marriage and no sex thing though. if you were living together, with sex on tap, why wouldnt you be doing it as often as possible?
penizulaface 0
not a good enough answer. sex feels good. it brings you and your guy closer together. its fun. and again, it feels GOOOOOOOD. so why not do it as many times as possible?
Ughsucks 0
Loooooooool at thinking having sex with some hideous fattie "feels" good to men.
DameGreyWulf 1
Why wouldn't it feel good? Dick + ****** = feels good, so I've heard. The appearance of the person wouldn't have anything to do with that, it's A DICK in A VAG. Unless it's ungodly loose, I'm willing to bet it still feels good. And she's not a hideous fattie. Lots of pregnant women still look great. Lots of husbands/dads absolutely LOVE the way their woman looks when pregnant. Something about a belly can drive some dads wild, too... and of course there's the extra boobage. Yes, certainly, there are those women you wish wouldn't be reproducing, but if she's going to a beautician, something tells me she is more likely to be one of those women who care at least a little about her looks, so she doesn't look like some flabby, floppy mess. There's a higher possibility of her looking like a ho, sure, but that's getting off course. And, in any case, he DID marry her so he must have some approval of her looks. You know what else would probably feel good? Making your gal howl. If he loves her enough to marry her and/or get her knocked up, that should definitely be quite an ego boost when she can't get enough of him. During pregnancy, women tend to be considerably more orgasmic.
kazkazkazkaz 0
People think marriage is an excuse to let themselves go and not actively work on keeping their sex lives passionate/interesting. Being married is not a fix-all.
DameGreyWulf 1
Well, I'm speaking completely technically of course. TECHNICALLY, a dick in a vag feels good.
Reyo 2
Not everyone needs to hit on everything that moves to feel good. Some marriages are based on mental and psychological compatability where sex is an afterthought, and the most they got out of each other was the obligatory honeymoon consumation.
nintenDX 0
@32 longest ******* response ever ... but all of it's true ^-^
JackDupp 11
You can show them to me- that would make four!!
dspadres 0
All people who don't have a choice.
gargoyle666 5
Pics or it didn't happen.
failuristic 3
@OP: Who the hell gives a flying ****? :U "O dear i havn't been laid in 3 weeks my life suuuuccckkks," You know there are 30 year old virgins who've NEVER been laid? xD (And if you're complaining about this, I'll make a guess you're... what? 22? xD) Laaaamme FML, imo :C
Envy_fml 0
They're married. I'm pretty sure the point of being married is to have sex once in a while.
lolfood 24
What happened to marriage about love?
jesse_mxlover 6
Your spelling is shitty. Why don't you grow up, go back to kindergarten, and restate your comment so people can understand it?
SaltyLurker 10
Yeah dude if you were not a virgin you would have never compared not having sex before your first time to not having sex afterwards. Your thirty years of virginness mean nothing! It's like chocolates; quite easy to restrain from if you haven't tasted them, but close to impossible to swear off if you have already tried them before.
pericolo 0
Its perfectly normal for sex to slow down during pregnancy. Try talking to your husband about it, to see what's up.
Ughsucks 0
Maybe the fact something alive is crawling around in her?
perdix 31
Some men don't spend a hole lot of time looking at their woman's "intimate parts." The question is not who were the last people to look at your pussy, but who were the last to **** it? Is your husband due for a rude surprise within the next nine months?
cantbechanged 4
Perdix your amazing! I love your comments!
judgeymcjudge 0
Not to rag on everyone's perception here, but has anyone considered that she's not pregnant, so that has nothing to do with it? It just says ultrasound - ultrasounds are not only used for pregnancy, but for heaps of things. Some women have to have them regularly for check ups in regards to gyno issues, and plenty of people need them for stomach and digestive system issues... Taking that into account, all I see is a woman bitching about her husband slacking off in the sex department. If that is the case, OP, then your husband is a fool. Men everywhere would kill for a wife that wanted MORE sex, and even more for a wife who thinks a few weeks without sex is FML-worthy. Give him a bit of a wake up call, and hopefully things get better for you.
Laurasian 0
If that was the case, I think the FML might go something like "Today, I found out I have cancer growing on my ovaries. I also haven't had sex in 3 weeks. FML." Lady needs to get over it.
Vintage_Cola 29
Wow, I now before your logic.
Vintage_Cola 29
*Bow