Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I decided I was gonna take a pregnancy test after being two months late. I bought two because I was sure it would give me a positive. That same night I got my period. FML
Today, my period was officially 2 weeks late. I have a phobia about giving birth, so I had a panic attack, went to Walmart, spend $15 on four pregnancy tests and a drink, came home, and took the tests. All four came back negative. As I went to clean up and throw everything away, I got my period. FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
Today, I have realised that since I get laid so infrequently, every time I have sex now, it kickstarts my period. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML
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Top comments
washingtongirl 8
It's time to break that dry spell, friend. Get freaky.
andiiturtle 0
At least your not pregnant ! :)
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Comments (209)
283leis 8
That wasn't real
DarkSilentFear92 0
Ha your ******...not!!
br0ccoli 15
Better that way than the other way around.
missdarling13 0
If you know you're not having sex, and haven't had sex in a year, why take the pill?!
pagullarka 9
That's a good point
Shenannigoats 16
Some people take it for its other benefits, like period regulation.
pagullarka 9
Humm, don't know any thing about that.
kriz_allizwell 6
best ever birth control measure....good job op!!
guill32 3
I'm in your boat we should break that streak! ;) I'm in Florida for spring break the time is now haha
dazzle_me_lovely 9
I LOL'd so hard cause the same shit happened to me. hahaha!
zebralover23 14
Hey at least your not pregnate
guitarbeast 22
Even if it was real, she probably just slept with another guy, and when she gave birth ah just said "oh… it's a 'miracle'… cause I totally didn't sleep with another guy…"
PenguinSwag47 0
Non-believers! :O