Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I decided I was gonna take a pregnancy test after being two months late. I bought two because I was sure it would give me a positive. That same night I got my period. FML
Today, my period was officially 2 weeks late. I have a phobia about giving birth, so I had a panic attack, went to Walmart, spend $15 on four pregnancy tests and a drink, came home, and took the tests. All four came back negative. As I went to clean up and throw everything away, I got my period. FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
Today, I have realised that since I get laid so infrequently, every time I have sex now, it kickstarts my period. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML
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Top comments
washingtongirl 8
It's time to break that dry spell, friend. Get freaky.
andiiturtle 0
At least your not pregnant ! :)
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Comments (209)
Neale_fml 0
Maybe you're like the virgin Mary.
taerts 9
The picture of the (your?) face really scared me XD
p_syko 5
Like the "virgin" Mary......what? A lier?
283leis 8
Someone that didn't exist?
Awsumuzzie 12
78 and 139, this isn't a religious forum, js.
llamafish 25
*cough* Mary *cough*
SolarGirl32 6
Preventing pregnancy is not the only reason to take the pill. I could go into the other ones, but that's what google is for.
micahsmommy 13
Are you sure there wasn't a drunken one night stand that you don't remember? Might want to check in with a doctor if you're that late and only missed one pill.
archenemybtch 0
I don't see how this is a FML. Most likely it's your own fault for not getting laid. If sex is really that important to you, there are plenty of horny guys out there...go find one.
ganjaone 2
Let's do it baby ;)
lynn0985 5
Than why in the hell are you on birth control???
Shenannigoats 16
Some people take it for its other benefits, like period regulation.
FatTony2010 4
Maybe you got laid with God?
micahsmommy 13
Pretty sure #3 had that comment covered. Unless you thought the LoL was important to add.
julialinn 2
OP is the virgin Mary!!