Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML
Today, I found a piece of a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth. I haven't eaten popcorn in over a week and a half. FML
Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML
Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML
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Top comments
iipinkette 16
Why on earth didn't you use floss?
Bluemonster3 26
Why did you think it was a good idea in the first place? o_o
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Comments (195)
iipinkette 16
Why on earth didn't you use floss?
rhaemese 9
I think the real question is why the in the world someone would use a steak knife..
divaboots 8
I've noticed society and everyone in it is getting progressively more and more idiotic.. So the steak knife probably made sense at the time.
ripresno 10
Only Chuck Norris can use a steak knife instead of floss. Don't try to imitate the almighty Chuck Norris.
astoryofroses 9
*sigh*
Futacy 30
WTF!? Do you have a semi-automatic in your closet to kill spiders?
DreBeezy 9
*facepalms* and the idiot to common sense ratio tips over yet again.
Quinn32 16
Semi? Are you kidding? These are spiders we are talking about...you need fully automatic weapons or maybe even grenades.
StoryOfTheYear 15
^^^ Has Aragog hiding is his closet
_Oblivion_ 12
That's a hell of a better idea than what I usually do. I prefer to use a razor blade, it helps to get between your teeth and serves as a good scraper. My dentist says that when your gums bleed when you floss, it's completely normal.
outoftown 27
Perhaps he had used the steak knife to part his hair, and the "don't use steak knife on your body" part of his brain was excised.
lexyxmeow 0
Why would you even DO that?
Inheritance 10
Pfft I use a table saw to get popcorn kernels
Goldenchest 14
70 - "Do you want to know how I got these scars..?"
beelee1988 13
If you don't have floss or a toothpick ... use your nail. But please make sure to wash your hands first.
KitKat16 9
Floss is always a good idea. Or even a tooth brush
MDTeddy 13
#70 I love the trilogy.
XxMissyMansonxX 0
Haha dude ur awesome xD
SonyIsGod 13
Best first comment ever. Exactly what I was gonna say.
every1luvsboners 11
That's what your penis is for.
perdix 31
If you can floss your teeth with your penis, missing teeth are going to be the least of your problems in finding and keeping women. Then again, you may be completely self-sufficient ;)
KayleeT 9
So you floss your teeth with your penis? Good to know ..
every1luvsboners 11
I'm pretty sure it's fairly normal to floss with a penis. Reminds me when I was 15 and went to the White House to meet President Clinton. He gave me an autographed picture of himself in exchange for a hand-job and a V-8 in the Oval Office. I sold the picture last week for $89,000 and have since moved to Chilie to start my own brothel under the alias "Mr. Fonzworth." If you're ever in Santiago look me up.
Futacy 30
What does this FML have to do with the guy's dick? Either you commented on the the wrong FML or you're just the most sex-crazed creep on this website.
slurshies 11
if you can floss your teeth with your dick, it must be tiny
ohcheriecherie 20
Why the **** did this get voted down? I find it amusing.
GuessWhatKids 13
115 - Many lesser minded souls cannot comprehend the greater level of intelligence that Boners' preaches and thus tend to thumb down his comments in a fit of jealousy and rage. Those of us who have been fortunate enough to be enlightened by Boners' wisdom - such as you and I - can only hope to one day achieve in our lifetimes a fraction of what Boners' achieves daily. Let us rejoice in his greatness!
redbluegreen 41
I constantly lay awake at night wondering "What would Boners do?"
Dr0reos 8
36-I've been an aspiring male prostitute for years(they call me dirk hardwood) and I was wondering if a distinguished"Mac daddy" such as yourself has any tips for a man ho like me.
PenguinSwag47 0
You would need a needledick if you wanted to floss with it.
khaya 9
using a Dick is smarter than using a steak knife, it's that simple.
smoshiee 8
This,
mattrd_fml 31
#2 I'm fairly certain that lesbian don't love boners.
allie2590 31
Someone's off to the dentist!
GovernorGeneral 8
More like the ER.
jetsown08 21
I wonder how DocBastard will react to this one once they roll into his ER...
Dr0reos 8
Don't worry about it OP I had the same issue trying to remove a hangnail with a chainsaw
slurshies 11
69- win ;)
panda_burrito 2
Someone's off to the emergency room.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
151- Someone's already said that :P
triplebf1 4
That kinda made my mouth hurt thinking about it...
Bluemonster3 26
Why did you think it was a good idea in the first place? o_o
pokefan813 16
I guess common sense isn't so common.
AKiDNamedJoHn 12
And you actually had to try it to realize it wasn't a good idea?
bteundeadmidget 5
You should have commented with "...." instead
_Oblivion_ 12
81, You should have commented with " " instead
onlychildFTW 34
I always use a steak knife as floss. I just never cut myself because I do it properly and carefully.
zen4681 8
It's a bad idea... ya don't say?
Zedd_fml 8
"Did I tell you the story of how I got this scars?!.."
mal2012 4
Why.... Whyyy....whyyyyy wud u do that?!?
2PacMakaveli 0
Why...why...WHY...why would you use such horrible grammar?
dude1122332 9
Why not do this?
erinchick1 7
What a dumbass!
Trisha_aus 15
Listen to Red Forman!
vocaloidtiger 12
It makes you seem like quite the hypocrite when you read your profile pic.
NOOBSQUAD 0
Looking at your profile I feel as if you are an Asian with down syndrome. "Well said Jeffry!" -Jeffry
nuggetmonster 12
Was the taste of your bloody gums reminiscent of the rare steak you enjoyed moments prior?
Pelvispresley 8
He ate popcorn...
bteundeadmidget 5
Your picture is relevant to both that comment and fml.
alexup24 13
Are you ******* kidding me
Pelvispresley 8
That's not me ^
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I'm seeing double! Time to lay off the Jack and his buddy, Jim.
DontClickOnMe 28
No matter how painful that sounds, you still deserved it. You should've known it would not have ended well!
Redoxx_fml 22
*Slow clap
NOOBSQUAD 0
Slightly slower clap
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Super fast clap
sisterjameela 7
Ultra mega slow clap
HannahJoButtons 2
I'm not even clapping...I'm just standing back watching all you people clap at different speeds and laughing at you