Today, after having taken hormone tablets to try to increase my cup size, I realized that I've basically reversed my menopause. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a trip to see my doctor, I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year-old guy. FML
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, I found out I’m going through early menopause. My husband was finally ready to have a baby, after years of debate and saying he’s not ready. I warned him my ovaries wouldn’t hold out forever. He seems shocked that menopause happens to all women and is irreversible. FML
Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML
Today, I'm on a pill that "may cause breast tenderness". My 32E breasts took that to mean swell up a size, become heavy as lead, be so sore I can't move without a bra on, and stiffen my neck and back muscles so badly I thought I had an ear infection. This will last "a few weeks to months". FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML
Today, after six months of trying, my wife was convinced she was finally pregnant with our first baby, which we put off having for years until we got our careers, savings and house where we needed them. One trip to the doctor's and it’s not pregnancy, it’s early onset menopause at 37. FML
Today, when I was a teen, I felt inferior for being flat-chested. So I got a boob job. As an adult, I started yoga and meditation. Then I felt foolish for not embracing my natural self and having plastic stuff in me. Got the implants out. Now I'm happy with my looks but have nerve damage from the procedures. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
You should never fool around with your hormones for cosmetic purposes. Period.
redbluegreen 41
You really get to the bloody point, don't you?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
divaboots 8
It's called a boob job, or try to be happy with your boobs. Reversing menopause most likely isn't worth an extra cup size, but good luck OP.
Trisha_aus 15
Sometimes having small boobs isn't that bad Op!
jemmers 13
I wish my boobs were small! I want to get a boob reduction.
MCRaddict15 15
1, Sometimes it's hard to be happy with your boobs. Women tend to wish to be what they are not. I would not blame OP for wanting to be what she isn't. Blame the hormone tablets. (:
citymayer 7
I thought I was the only one 30!!! I complain about how big my boobs are and get verbally slapped for being "so upset" about something "fortunate" even though last time I checked I'm allowed to hate my body...
vocaloidtiger 12
36 and 30: I thought I was the only one too!! Glad to know there are others... xD
purplebumblebee 2
Haha I looked at your name quickly and I thought it said divaboobs hahaha
BulldogHoops 14
Meanwhile in Missouri...
patrickalamo 48
Implants better in the long run.
botanistjessica 24
Sometimes I wish I didn't live in Missouri. at least not in St. Louis.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Whenever I run, I either get slapped in the face or pull a chest muscle.
kofeinisti 6
30 - what size is "small" to you? B? most well-endowed girls who want a boob reduction (girls who i've talked to, anyway) would not go smaller than B or in few cases, A. OP might have AA or inexistant boobs, veeeery few girls would choose a flat chest if they were given the choice.
missamazinggg 12
I want to go down to a C cup. C is the perfect size.
kofeinisti 6
85 - C is not "small". So why is it wrong for someone with small boobs to want to go up to a C-cup but it's OK for someone to want to go down to a C-cup? Where's the logic in that? (Scrolling back up I realized you're not #30 so this is not really directed at you... But my point still stands.)
jemmers 13
I never once said that it is wrong to want bigger boobs. All I said was my boobs are too big (being EE). They cause me problems with my back, they also make your chest really hot and uncomfortable. Hence the boob reduction. Going to a C cup would be halftime boobs now. If anyone wants a boob job good for them, I never said it was a bad thing a girls are stupid for it.
jemmers 13
Half my not halftime, also a girl is suppose to be and girls.
missamazinggg 12
98- I never said a C cup is small. It's been actually proven by surveys that guys prefer a C. Some say a B is too small and others say a D is too big.
ebonyirony 29
**** science. I'm a B and I'm a little less than happy with it, but it is what it is. Stop using "science" to make wht you say backed up. Show me the article. Otherwise you'll tell me it's from the Internet.
jemmers 13
It really doesn't matter about science or polls. It's about what makes you happy and comfortable with your body.
sirpantselot 22
No one's happy with what they have. That's why there are hair straighteners AND hair curlers.
Calyx_fml 22
Personally, as a guy my breast preference has nothing to do with size. It's all about shape. Generally if the nipple points upward it's hot. If it points at the ground it's not. Perky A cups with a good nipple placement are WAY sexier than D cup jungle boobs.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#111 Well geez, hopefully not ALL guys prefer C cups. :/
missamazinggg 12
112- I never said science, learn to read. 119- not ALL guys prefer a C. It's just a survey. I know a few of my guy friends who prefer smaller because that's just their preference. But 113 is right, you should be happy with your body and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Blooblibloo 4
I have a C and if I could choose I'd rather have a B. I thing smaller boobs are nice. Bigger are too, but I am more a discret girl so I prefer discret boobs. Anyway, nobody is happy with what they have. It's okey to have plastic chirurgie I guess, but it would be better if we could accept not being 'perfect', instead of suffering and taking risk to change what we look like. But it's just my opinion. And I think there is a reason if we are imperfect, it's to keep us for being to vain :D
Blooblibloo 4
I think I used the wrong word: surgery*
MDTeddy 13
Boob jobs are ugly and completely noticable so stfu on that. I see why that comment is so thumbed down.
bunniex1 11
Not everyone with small boobs wishes they were bigger. I'm happy being an A cup.
ChaCerCam 14
if I couldn't sleep on my chest I would kill myself.
every1luvsboners 11
You have to insert them rectally to get the full effect.
36591951 9
I like the idea. Does it work with all medicine?
Dr0reos 8
39-Yes except for OxyContin for some weird reason. also OP one word: Implants ;)
blaackandprouud 20
Been there done that.
j_cat187 20
Soak a rag in vodka and shove it up your ass. It will get you drunk really fast.
Inheritance 10
75 I heard you can die from that.. So..
onlychildFTW 34
Yes you can die. Because no liver to filter out all the alcohol so it's I believe 3-5x more potent because it will go directly into your blood stream through the same way nutrients from food get in it.
VitalDisplayII 0
are u sure ur not mentally retarded?
perdix 31
You should never fool around with your hormones for cosmetic purposes. Period.
redbluegreen 41
You really get to the bloody point, don't you?
day624 14
How punny
Pelvispresley 8
16- that is such an old joke. You really CRAMPed the style of the puns.
pokefan813 16
I'm not in the MOOD to SWING.... No? Okay fine....
starman02 12
Y'all should put a plug in it
SqueakyChipmunk 22
My heart bleeds for you, op.
CareFace 16
******
coolboy675 16
I think 59 is OVARYacting
KiddNYC1O 22
You guys are very anal... Sphincter. Fail.
HeartOfLead 24
Well done #84, well done.
Myo_fml 20
You're that worried about your image at thy age that you're dousing yourself with hormones? Pathetic, enjoy period symptoms again.
Myo_fml 20
That*** auto correct. >.>
Silver996 2
Your picture is quite fitting.
TheMysticSilas 0
I like Boobs:)
Judahsh 8
10-i thought you were making a joke about her age by talking in Shakespearean english, implying shes from that time. I thought it was funny. Yay for autocorrects failure
chrisbrown_swaqq 4
you may never know what happened to her she could have a breast reduction surgery.
VitalDisplayII 0
I did a reverse kick on ur mom
Grimmerie 31
So didn't you speak to a doctor before doing this? Or did you just assume it would be a fantastic idea to **** with your body's hormone levels? Any competent doctor could have warned you about that, which leads me to believe you were doing this independantly of any licensed professional. Do you prescribe yourself painkillers too? Walk into a pharmacy and grab yourself some oxycoxet, maybe a handful of morphine? There is no way you DON'T deserve this. You can kill yourself screwing around with medication. Count yourself lucky you didn't wind up with something more serious going on, and go see a bloody doctor.
Myo_fml 20
What I'm wondering is where she even bought them without the permission of a doctor. If one gave her dangerous hormones for stupid reasons like this, they need to lose their license.
Zverina 20
People are too serious sometimes.
lelo007 11
It was probably some "As seen on TV" tablets that are supposed to be all natural. More people need to do their research on stuff like that. There's a reason Phin-Phin and other medicines of the like were outlawed and have lawsuits piling up against the companies.
SpicyDuck 22
She also could have been subscribed them by a doctor and this ended up being a side effect they they may or may not have known about. Those things happen too
Myo_fml 20
Subscribed?
xInwex 12
Coming from a person who has had two of her relatives ruin their lives from hormonal pills, I agree. Use your brain op... For god's sake!
jetsown08 21
So you're telling me that sketchy guy in the dark alley behind my gym was WRONG when he told me it was OK to take 8 times the normal recommended HGH dosing? And to think, all this time, I thought the hair on the inside of my eyelids was normal...
lizamaphone 6
It's extremely easy to get medication online, especially hormones.
lelo007 11
It seems like this would have been a side effect your doctor would have mentioned to you. Hopefully it is just short term until your body adjusts to the new level of hormones that is going through your body. If you're doing this on your own, YDI. Kind of a foolish.
person961 9
Drinking beer helps your boobs grow, get drunk. You'll also increase the number of guys that will want to take you home.
jetsown08 21
I also heard your driving skill increases too.
TheMysticSilas 0
...says the fatty
KingCeltic77 18
Sounds like you've been watching manswers...
FireFlie07 20
You couldn't get breast implants??? I got a breast reduction two years ago. Big boobs aren't as fun as they sound. I do not miss them.
MutilatedAbyss 11
I've been considering getting a breast reduction. How was the procedure? The thought of the surgery is really the only thing that's stopping me from having it done.