Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML
Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML
Today, I got my report card, and thought I did pretty well with a GPA of 3.58. My parents freaked out over the 3 B's I had, and proceeded to look up which colleges would still accept me. I just finished my first quarter as a freshman in high school. FML
Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML
Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML
Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
Today, my mom said if I don't get straight As in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML
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Top comments
ghm1234 0
What a bitch!
jimboner69 6
Sugar daddy's kick ass
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Comments (101)
FMS23 0
First off hand her a mirror cause she had you. (unless ur adopted) you all should look alike so she called herself ugly
sean02 11
I see what you did there! Lol
FarSide 23
Well prettying up is not a bad thing...
hatesfate 6
The OP could look more like her dad than her mom... Jus sayin'....
EffinToofer 3
DNA can mutate into some weird things. Some attractive people end up having fugly kids.
LiveLaughFML 10
you live in new jersey? how did you get your report card if most schools haven't even started yet here? i usually get my report card 2-3 months after the first day.
LedZeppelin1109 0
*sigh* some parents these days...
kiraleann 16
@hatesfate: but still, even if OP looks more like her dad, if her mom meant "pretty up" to insinuate that OP is unattractive then in that particular case she's implying that her husband is unattractive, so it still doesn't work out for her.
TheRealHouse 7
Hi my name is Dr. House and I make a sh*tload of money. I also enjoy long walks on the beach, riding my motercycle, young girls, vicodin and boobies.. call me ;)
hatesfate 6
Kiraleann not really. There are attractive men but dress them up as a woman and they are ugly as shit... Just because they're an ugly girl doesn't mean they can't be a handsome guy.
Gourmet_Taco 0
33 - +1 for supporting statement to previous argument.
tj4234 36
she could have been implying that OP doesn't take care of her looks.
LuHGiiiT 11
I don't see what you did there.. =/
MerrikBarbarian 9
fmls don't post instantly. this was probably written a few months ago
cantdeleteaccount 2
they pretty much do. 2 years ago in june i saw a million of "Today, Michael Jackson died. FML"
TwitchingNebula 17
So number one, we shouldn't blame you for being stupid. It's your parents fault. I'd bitchslap them if I were you then...
kiraleann 16
@ hatesfate: I suppose that's true, although I really would hope that the OP would be born with the face/body traits of a woman rather than a man, but we never know.
iluvhobos 5
It's about 98% your own damn fault if you don't get good grades (if you don't have any type of mental disability).
krazy_glu3 0
Screw it, get a sugar daddy. Then your mom will be jealous that everything you get is already paid for. Roll up in a Bentley and tell her that was the best advice she ever gave you.
bullrider92 19
Ask her if that would make her proud
bullrider92 19
#61,I have seen a lot of fmls posted same day. You can tell because they mention something that happened that same day.
ghm1234 0
What a bitch!
imjuicygossip 0
Your mom is pretty rude
crinx034 0
Who tells there kids to be prostitutes?!
LuHGiiiT 11
No one is telling anyone to be a prostitute..?
sxe_beast 11
Sounds like good advice to me.
Finn_the_human 5
The things people do for money.
jizzwold 21
There is a large difference between having a sugar daddy and being a prostitute.
daydreamer244 13
see!! you can learn things from moms!! I was starting they were just there to cook our dinner! :)
jimboner69 6
Sugar daddy's kick ass
RaineLee 5
That sucks. FYL
malfoyfreak 3
Feel bad for you. You're probably prettier than you think. Just look at yourself a different way!
manic_maniac11 13
Wow thats like two insults rolled into one neat package... Get your grades up and prove her wrong :)
enonymous 9
Sugar Daddies and Sugar babies are awesome
Yellow_Fish79 11
Tell her that you'll take her advice because you've always wanted to be just like her. ;)
IdontWanna69 8
Better get to work then