Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML
Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
Today, my sister got fired and I got promoted to her job, got a nice payrise for it. My relationship with my sister will never be the same again. FML
Today, while out with my family, I happened to run into "the one who got away." She smilingly introduced herself to my wife, who definitely noticed that she and our daughter share the same name. FML
Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, I went over to visit my sister. She had a bunch of pictures of me on her wall. I thought it was sweet, but a bit odd. Turns out she looks at pictures of me to motivate herself whenever she doesn’t feel like working out. FML
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Top comments
H00ks 19
Happy is happy. She's obviously having fun being a firefighter.
loulumpkin 8
That's rough man. It could be worse though, at least you know she is alive.
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Comments (189)
kd1373 19
Op: Sis? What have you been doing? Sister: Everyone in town.
H00ks 19
Happy is happy. She's obviously having fun being a firefighter.
MalloryKnox 8
Or maybe she's a Ghostbuster?
SuckMyStrider 13
Or maybe she's santa clause
BulldogHoops 14
Did she give your money back from her G-string?
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Well now you've seen her. Far far too much of her.
StubbornDonkey 10
I hope one of her coworkers at least gave you a family discount.
IamEloise 7
I don't get it. How do you "work" the South Pole? It would be quite cold, don't you think?
starbunnytwinkle 3
No.
gracehi 33
Ah, nice try. "A" for effort! ;)
unknown_user5566 27
See if you can use her employee discount, and get a discounted lap dance from another dancer. Gotta find that silver lining!
olpally 33
There is no silver lining here besides the fact she is alive and has a job. This is a pure fml otherwise. Lol. Nice try kyleekay. I'd be scarred forever.
Wayne913 13
So.....she's a firefighter?
Axipiter 24
You and 16 both referenced "firefighters". I apologize if I don't get the reference, maybe this is better in a private message but I don't usually use the website. What are you referencing?
SaintT 15
In the fire station they slide down a pole to the garage where the trucks are.
Axipiter 24
I just got it. Sorry for my ignorance all, I'll try harder next time.
BubbleGrunge 18
Hey, everyone's gotta make a living somehow! Least she's making it honestly!
garretsgrl 0
what were you doing at the strip club anyways????
ICastillo 25
Who doesn't like to see a nice pair of ******* every now and then?!?
Superstitious 6
He was most likely at the strip club to watch the strippers strip
gracehi 33
You see, what had happened was, OP was walking down the street when a drunk butcher stumbled out of his shop, spilling twenty pounds of raw bacon all over OP. Then an on-duty dog walker with a dozen dogs in tow and a squad of rookie k-9 cops happened to pass by. Driven mad by hunger and the irresistible aroma of bacon, the dogs all broke free and chased OP down the street. He ran and ran and ran until he happened upon the Luck Dragon, who kindly gave OP a ride to save him from the salivating dogs. OP and the Luck Dragon laughed with delight as they watched the dogs leaping hopelessly in the air. But their mirth turned to terror when the Emperor suddenly used his Sith powers to shoot lighting from his hands, striking down the poor Luck Dragon. As OP hurtled towards Earth, Harry Potter swooped down on his Nimbus 2000 and plucked OP from the sky. Harry Potter brought OP to a safe landing. Just as OP was thanking Harry for saving his life, Dorothy dropped a house on him. OP looked on in stunned misery as Harry's toes curled up his leg until he disappeared. "Harry!" he cried in dismay at the untimely death of his rescuer, "By Grapthar's hammer, you shall be avenged!" OP, in a fit of wild rage, summoned the flying monkeys to carry him in pursuit of Dorthy. He followed them to where Dorothy had taken refuge in a strip club. "I'll get you, my pretty!" he vowed vehemently, bursting through the doors, "and you're little dog too!" But as he cast about the dark club in search of his quarry, his eyes beheld something he did not expect--his long lost sister, scantily clad and grinding on a stripper pole! "NOOOOOO!!!!"
gracehi 33
*Your little dog. My bad.
happle 21
If that wasn't so long, I'd have thumbed it up (I can't because I'm on my phone).
gracehi 33
Why, thank you, 73. :) And to those of you who thumbed my comment down: **** you guys. My story is awesome. t('.'t)
poindexter25 5
It is awesome, but there is one flaw. Harry potter uses his firebolt (the fastest broom in the wizarding world) throughout the majority of the books.
CoDHater 9
66: awesome story
konstantinos616 17
Apparently 31 doesn't like *******.
gracehi 33
78, He felt like switching it up that day. After he defeated Voldemort, Harry used the vast fortune his parents left him to build a grand estate just outside of Hogsmeade. Attached to his mansion is a massive broom closet where he keeps his vast collection of brooms. Harry loved taking pleasure flights on his various brooms, may he rest in peace.
SettingSun89 5
Stupid questions...
poindexter25 5
Haha you should right a knockoff of Harry potter
gracehi 33
Yeah, I bet I could totally pull an E. L. James...preferably with less BDSM. O.O
Axipiter 24
Wait, does Harry Potter die? I haven't read the books or watched the latest movies, but now I'm curious...
ICastillo 25
Yes he dies. I'm sorry to ruin the ending for you. He gets shot in the butt by a wand and dies. Horrible way to end the story if you ask me.