Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jabulls 0
#11 remember, booty shorts come in XL too.
gummibehrs 4
YDI for smoking.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
b182link 0
yes, amazing
Matt_Phelps_FTW 0
i wonder if her bluewaffle was flapping in the wind.
YANKSFAN4EVER 0
I hope you had underwear on else YDI if you did then FYL
XoxoSF 0
"Blue waffle?" Ewe that's gross as ****!
kathira120 3
ydi for smoking
sunkist324 3
lmfao
monkeymax 0
eww don't smoke
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Says the person with Justin bieber as his picture.
unrealzeuss 0
haha if you are lucky you live in buttocksville, usa. if youre f'd you live in new york
bananal_fml 0
Ummm middle back or middle front? There's a big difference...
Mell18 0
You deserve it for smoking. ew