Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML
Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML
Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year-old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML
Today, I was sitting in the living room with my husband when we heard a baby coo. This would have been adorable, if we had a baby. FML
Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I tried to bond with my baby nephew by making funny faces at him. He stared at me like I was the most confusing creature he had ever seen, then burst into tears so loud it scared the dog. FML
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Top comments
aabhasj 20
dog turned out to be friendly so its still kinda cute even though its not ur dog.
FlamingColor 30
At least the dog was friendly and in the holiday sprit! :D
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Comments (68)
fpants2010 18
Who's dog was it? At least it was gentle with your baby!
heavenlyassbutt 11
If it's a stray give him/her a home. it's obvious they love your baby you can't ask for better.
CosmicElk 26
Keep it if its a stray :D
Alexandria79 22
I don't get it. real dog? imaginary dog? ghost dog? I'm confused
sk8erd 15
I actually thought ghost dog. I don't know why people thumbed you down. I'm asking myself the same question.
LPac5295 27
It's your Christmas gift OP! No but seriously that's really weird. What kind of dog was it? lol
CaroLouWho 10
I wish a dog would come into my house and make itself at home. Then my folks would have to keep it.
MrSassypants 34
I kept a stray cat in my house for a while without my mom noticing. Once she found out she then wanted it out so I put it in our backyard and now it lives in the backyard and I still feed it and play with it and bring the cat in the house sometimes. It's surprisingly pretty easy to keep a secret like that.
skyeyez9 25
I was at my cousins house for the first time, and an australian shepherd walked up to her front door, scratching it to be let inside. I opened the door to let her in, and commented how she has a cute dog.....she told me she doesnt have a dog. It was the neighbors dog, who have young kids. The dog goes to her house for peace and quiet, and even has a worn trail where she walks from her house to my cousin's.
gracehi 33
That's so funny! Poor dog just wants to take a nap. It's nice of your cousin to accommodate him. We all need the kindness of a stranger from time to time, animal and human alike.
gracehi 33
*neighbor not stranger. Don't know why I said "stranger."
Denise1988 13
Aww, good luck with the new pup! I won't adopt a dog because you never know if they're good with kids but it looks like you found one.
FSGInsainity 15
Well, you do now!