Today, I was sitting in the living room with my husband when we heard a baby coo. This would have been adorable, if we had a baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Standupmast3r 18
Maybe the stork brought it.
fightingkittens 39
Are there cats around? Cats make some weird-ass sounds that don't sound like cats, but they might sound like babies.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (72)
whatsupitsbrian 23
Well now you have a baby
jbones24 22
The bad news is that it's a ghost
kitkat818 17
Congratulations
Standupmast3r 18
Maybe the stork brought it.
h00tzForOsi 20
Damn thing always delivers to the wrong address!
aeryn97 17
something in your house maybe picking up a baby monitor? probably on the 2.4ghz range
Morning_fml 22
I would've said that OP's house is haunted and that they should leave and never come back but that sounds like a more logical explanation.
Kieranr10 23
If I were i would leg it. But FYL anyways
proudsock 17
I'd prefer to arm it but that's just me.
fightingkittens 39
Are there cats around? Cats make some weird-ass sounds that don't sound like cats, but they might sound like babies.
lukian_fml 29
Parrots and birds can imitate baby sounds quite accurately too!
isuckwithnames 22
Cats do that on purpose because it instinctually gets humans to pay attention to them. Cats are evil
salvorican 24
#13 Wouldn't the birds need a baby to hear the cooing from so it can imitate it?
KayDee29 31
I have no idea why but your comment made me actually laugh out loud #5. Instead of the usual blowing extra air through your nose.
senor_octubre 24
I'd be like, "No thank you." And then gtfo
Raye_Delvego 8
Time to move house...maybe burn it down. You have a creepy child haunting.
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
Is it possible it came from the TV? I mean, most people don't sit in silence in their living room.
HappyItalian 38
Who said they were sitting in silence? They could've been talking.
cornyrob 33
Nobody is assuming that they were sitting in silence.
searchr999 14
this is not an FML. just 2 people hearing things
whysojealous 18
Maybe your neighbour has a baby?
Brandi_Faith 34
Ya, I was thinking the same thing. If they live in a condo/apartment or townhouse you can often hear things through the walls. And certain sounds/pitches, can travel more than others.