Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML
Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
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Top comments
DarDarAttack 0
Nothing's wrong with being a virgin. (:
kristen1823 0
Your first time having sex should be a special thing. Save yourself for the one you truly love. There's absolutely no rush.
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Comments (131)
chetchatter 5
win
Freyholtz 0
smart :D
Ellen_Farrah 0
haha lmfao sounds like something that I would do
letslivelife 0
it is commendable to still be a virgin in this day & age; really I say do not allow yourself to feel pressure to get laid either; as guy still one I know the pressure and it's hard
icanhazlawlz 0
that...actually sounds like a good idea. OP, you are a crafty one.
samantha_142 0
ur cute ;)
FrankHotpants 31
thought you were suppose to put a hat on the door.
Chiquis 4
haha that's funny
shadmed 0
I'm 18 and a virgin and not shamed to tell others. Tell those who judge you by that to suck your sock ;)
Brittneyyyy 7
Good for you for not losing your virginity at 13, which seems to be more common as time goes on... wait until you're ready, and for the right person :)