Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, I was finally about to hook up with the girl I’ve been crushing on forever. My piss-drunk roommate burst through my door butt ass naked and yelled, “Party time, bitches!” Now she thinks I’m some perv that tried to rope her into a three-way. I tried to explain and apologize, but she's blocked me. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
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Top comments
evilbrent 0
oh no oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!1 you just found out that people have sex at college!!!!!!!!1 disaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
thequickredofox 0
It's a dorm bed - did you really think it wouldn't glow like a lighthouse under a black light! YDI for being naive.
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Comments (101)
tingting1 0
aaaaand so?
Poonheart 0
How the **** is this an FML?
Jmido 0
You didn't ask her if she wanted to relive the moment? YDI for being a virgin scared of sex.
Exhumed91 0
The poster is a girl....
A83_fml 18
drunk girl talking about sex in your bed, and you're complaining.. virgin? I vote yes, you fail!
bexox 0
80 - Who wants to hear about someone else having sex in their bed? It wasn't sex with the OP, so how wold that be good? Also, the OP is a female.
hellokittywhore 0
I guess that explains the stains D:
allmidnighteyes 11
inb4 the influx of stupid douchenozzles saying, "HAWT SHE WUZ DRUNX U SHULDA HAD LEZBIN SECKZ"
8trickster8 0
HAWT SHE WUZ DRUNX U SHULDA HAD LEZBIN SECKZ
canucksrule88 0
yup midnight, we got a lot of those...OP thats pretty shitty/awkward
UnluckyDom 0
guys poster is a girl
Intellectualist 0
HAWT SHE WUZ DRUNK U SHUDA HAD LEZ... Oh, innapropriate? :'(
Intoxicunt 6
WE shudda had lezbin secks.
whyowhy26 3
i dont understand how this is an FML -_- and YDI for killing Miachel Jackson.
thequickredofox 0
It's a dorm bed - did you really think it wouldn't glow like a lighthouse under a black light! YDI for being naive.
snavula 0
...What? Do you know how FML works? Or do you just assume all your random-retarded tangents are just correct?
Damarys 0
Yes, I'm pretty sure he knows how the FML works. A blacklight makes visible bodily fluids such as vaginal or seminal, so thequickredofox's tangent isn't really a tangent at all. So when the surface that one is shining on lights up, it means such fluids are present. Is all. Luckily my first year at college they changed out all the mattresses and our year got them brand new. I would hate to have any blacklight revelations.
Imrickjamesbitch 0
And....? I cummed on your face so what?
unfortunate_13 5
haha this is obviously posted by a nerd
blkwhtrbbt 0
or a girl?
evilbrent 0
oh no oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!1 you just found out that people have sex at college!!!!!!!!1 disaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
evilbrent 0
hey... nerds **** too. sweaty, gropey, nerdy sex. tawdry stuff. at least. so I hear.
redbluegreen 41
I always wonder about what happens to those big huge glasses when nerds have sex. I mean... do you keep them on and let them fog up? Or take them off and hope everything goes in the right hole?