Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I get to go to my new job and have the boss's kid watch me as I do all the grunt work, and he just sits there watching me, only to come and correct me on how to do my job. Oh joy. FML
Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML
Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML
Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, I had to find a babysitter while I attended a mandatory work function. We were told to bring lunch and wear clothes we didn't mind getting dirty for a day of team building exercises. I guess that's what the boss calls painting the office. We don't get paid for it, and the boss is on vacation. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
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Top comments
denvan 0
You should've told him, when you wear a bikini it's harder to position your junk.
Death_From_Above 0
I like his job!
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Comments (117)
xtacticalswarmx 0
Come now, (no pun intended) you know you think he's a DILF.
HeavyMetalViking 0
Well help him put his junk up the right position: Up his ass.
miss_fab 0
y would she do that
Heather_x0x0 6
a nanny is supposed to paint a room? first day on the job? so...where was the kid?
AnagenisisZagus 13
Hey, I smell a pay raise :D Always on the brighter side of the universe. -Zagus
enonymous 9
He likes your hands on approach with the kids. he might delegate more responsibilities for your hands on approach.
margie2194 12
haha you're funny :D
FunwithBumperCar 0
Tell him you have the same problem, ought to ward off some interest.
aloha31 6
since when does "nanny job" mean "painter"?
InsidiousChild 0
Once mexicans became nanny's.
higgy6969 7
another idiot
neelia926 0
racist
JessicaIsabel 0
exactly why I wad thinking
JessicaIsabel 0
what* was*
jlperry31 10
unless he's cute tell his wife
jlperry31 10
unless he's cute tell his wife
dj2013 6
so **** him.
LifeOfPi 0
your DP explain everything.
TheNinjaBuffalo 0
50- agreed.
triviumrocks 4
hot
vfs_fml 0
WTF. stupid comment.