Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML
Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Bano360 25
Main reason I do not want to have kids. 4 siblings is enough.
sleepwalker13 25
Kids these days have no manners
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Comments (69)
Bano360 25
Main reason I do not want to have kids. 4 siblings is enough.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
The way your kids turn out is up to you as a parent, it's not hard to understand that.
fishstick557 14
Why didn't you move
MichellinMan 20
It'd be your fault if they turned out like little *****.
tjv3 10
See kids today have no respect. They have no respect because their parents have no respect.
sleepwalker13 25
Kids these days have no manners
Bakarra 22
Parents have a big role in this as well. On another note, this is why I don't use public pools
allie2590 31
I'm sure kids have always been taking dumps/pissing where they're not supposed to, not just "these days."
Wizardo 34
So the kid wanted to be an ingredient of a massive poo stew and be marinated in the juices of someone else's faeces and everyone else's griminess... good luck.
cmayer 20
Wow you made me actually gag..
MsConfusedd 27
At least he peed on our feet which were underwater.... he could've peed on your head
Bakarra 22
That's the silver lining to this story? That's just sad...
Danielle7994 18
The fml says OP was standing "at" the shallow end, not "in". He/She was probably standing on the cement. That child is purely evil lol.
MsConfusedd 27
17- true but even so of all places to be peed on, feet are probably the least horrifyingly awful
isallwaysme 27
a mentally challenged kid pooped his pants at a pool here, then slipped and landed in it. making it shoot out is pants. i feel your pain.
profoundkisses 18
Kids these days
Squirrel1256 15
I could understand if it was an accident for the first kid, but the second kid should be bannned from the pool. Maybe then he would learn.
truth_teller23 11
I'm pretty sure kids have been pooping and peeing in pools since the invention of pools. The child who peed on OP's feet needs to be taught by his parents.
Lennes 12
Aaaaaand I'm reminded why I hate most kids. I'm sorry op, it seems like the latter kid needs to learn respect for the people who work.
BigMatt803 18
Some kids just have no respect or discipline. If I had done that and my parents were around, sitting down would have been difficult
ozpunker 20
Put his head under until the bubbles stop.
elephantsarecute 16
It's not funny to joke about drowning children, even horribly behaved ones.
clemsi 20
Welcome to the internet, prepare to be extremely pissed off, or in OP's case pissed on.
rita0ral 8
Nice job