Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML
Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML
Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
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Top comments
feven 32
You should've said "I'm not a man" just to **** with him too
XxDanno316xX 27
You're not on the pill!? Jeez man. At least use condoms Eh mate!
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Comments (86)
XxDanno316xX 27
You're not on the pill!? Jeez man. At least use condoms Eh mate!
noah_1234 24
never thought I would say this but thats a cool doctor.
feven 32
You should've said "I'm not a man" just to **** with him too
XxDevilxXGt 26
Luckily for OP, there's a chance the doctor thought OP was playing along with the joke and made a really good pretend freakout?
fsomelife 26
And told the doc he's the father.
mellajella 14
The doctor knows his gender from the papers he has to submit before being seen...
ChrissyRaz 9
#63 Way to kill it, captain obvious
Nevrdai 5
"I thought you were a doctor and you can't even differentiate gender?!" Hahaha
Dodge4x4Ram 46
took freaked out to a new level
buckstop1 37
Maybe you should take the next level. The capital level. Perhaps even a "T".
PurpleSprite 7
we all understand what he's saying, so is that really necessary? not defending him or anything but go about your business dude.
patrickalamo 48
Sympathy pains for your girlfriend maybe?
wishfulthinks 19
Did the doctor diagnose stupidity?
badmandilon 19
Is it necessary?
acommonman 23
You're a complete idiot, haha. Sorry OP, but you deserve this one.
BlondePsycho 43
Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?
ohSNAPyall 27
"Gullible" isn't in the dictionary, but it's written on the ceiling!
113421145311564 14
...
seholland 11
Geez... I guess you shouldn't be such a BABY about it...? anyone... no?
bab3ruthl3ss 16
No.
Stazza11 27
You probably did need to give birth though, to a huge shit. Same concept, completely different experience and people don't exactly congratulate you and want to hold it.
TheHumanHeater 6
I believe the proper term is mud baby
MDoremis 38
I think I laughed a little harder than I should have. Sorry, OP!
buckstop1 37
Why be sorry? This is FML. He posted this at his own risk. Of course we are going to mock OP.
Wilffe56 9
Yes we're going to mock posters, but we're not going to be jerks about it.