Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
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Top comments
jasminea 0
revenge. make sure he can hear you when your talking to someone about how "bad he is in bed" then turn around and break up with him
DudeBTM 8
Maybe he just wants to show off to his friends and make them believe he still has a healthy sex life.
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Comments (231)
ashleii2010 0
I'd go talk to him about that one x_x
ijnek 3
dont get it lol
ijnek 3
dont get it lol
krysxkatastrophe 14
He's most likely lying to impress his bros. He might be talking about what he likes truthfully, but lying about when he did it. Talk to him about.
BigDave81 0
tease him with the most powerful thing a woman has. her vaginaaa
CryMoreFMLs 15
It's a reference to screwing a dog #60.... not that hard to understand.... "bitch" is another term for female dog.
DudeBTM 8
Bitch = female dog.
decidedlyvague 11
maybe he's lying about, because he's upset over the fact that you haven't put out. albeit calling you a bitch is a little much ;P
LDda51 0
well maybe u shouldn't make him wait that long?
doc_j 0
look ladies heres the deal. if you dont **** your man someone else will. your pussy is not a barganing chip, if you go weeks without banging it out he will wonder and find a new hole to fill. i have been happily married fr almost four years and ke and the wife **** almost every day
life2007 0
I like this just cuz you can be married and still ****.
blurrygirl23 0
almost everyday? it should be every day! lol been married a lil over 2 now and we r the same way!
MsSoulReaper 27
It still doesn't give him the right to cheat. Maybe he could have talked to her or try to get other services from OP. Sex is not the only thing in a relationship. But by the way your comment is written your implying that if your wife doesn't **** you you'll find some other chick to ****?
doc_j 0
no one said he cheated. and you can get divorced on the grounds that ur partner doesnt put out anymore. so yes if she stopped completly i would find someone else. now go finger **** yourself to a cartoon of naruto Uzumaki since you urself probably arent gettin any
MsSoulReaper 27
You're so mature. I feel sorry for your wife to have married a child like yourself. Telling teenage girls to go "finger bang" herself to "naruto Uzumaki" sure doesn't make you look like a man.
MsSoulReaper 27
Hopefully one day, you'll truly become a man.
ayyyme 0
sounds like something a dog/manwhore would say.