Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
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Top comments
jasminea 0
revenge. make sure he can hear you when your talking to someone about how "bad he is in bed" then turn around and break up with him
DudeBTM 8
Maybe he just wants to show off to his friends and make them believe he still has a healthy sex life.
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Comments (231)
fizzpoplady 3
Time to bend that bitch over, stick your foot up his ass, and put that little extra wiggle in your walk as you exit stage right, just to let him know what he'll be missing.
Babalu722 3
Best revenge: scream his brother's name in bed.. after that, next time scream his dads
yesmynameismy 0
lol love ur comment
proxxX069069 7
mmm feisty! I like bahaha
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Bend HIM over and kick his ass
greekamericanpri 2
he was lying to make himself seem cool
sissylala7 0
dump his ass.
Skyler12921 5
that's why you don't eavesdrop. I learned that lesson a while back ;)
pike1346 3
I was gonna say it is just guy talk, but o think he is cheating.
darianlassven1 1
you dont tell you current boyfriend you had a dream about having sex with an ex..... especially if your not having sex with him
TheNewGuy03 29
error 404: fml not found. you might want to look elsewhere. like a different fml. :] |the kid|
jack_tells_truth 0
you're dating the liar who is ether lying to cheat or lying to impress his friends, you deserve it. maybe next time you should put some effort into finding a nice guy that doesn't have to lie
thelegitlady 0
hahaha, this made my day!