Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
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Top comments
mack_the_knife 3
There is a reason why you're with your boyfriend, and not with his fiend.
HowAreYouToday 34
Maybe he loves deli meat...
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Comments (103)
sugarlover1998 7
Your boyfriend thinks you're beautiful, who cares what his prick of a mate thinks? (:
Tinuviel97005 0
Fat ankles? Unless he has a foot fetish, that is seriously digging for an insult. The only time people smell like deli meat to me is when they work with the stuff. When I worked at subway I had to sower the moment I got home to get the smell out of my hair. Use a strong smelling shampoo, switch to a loofah, and don't skip showers after any sort of strenuous activity, work or exercise. But trust me, there are _much_ worse smells.
jessiegrl030 1
Sounds like a good guy you have there, but his friend sucks
fatpotato 4
Then lose some weight
Divine_Mamma 11
At least your boyfriend thinks you're beautiful
hayahh1012 11
did he even say anything back.? the hell if he didnt what an ass. but atleast he said your beautiful credit for that and for not talkin shit just to impress or entertain his friends