Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
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Top comments
mack_the_knife 3
There is a reason why you're with your boyfriend, and not with his fiend.
HowAreYouToday 34
Maybe he loves deli meat...
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Comments (103)
ewang_ 12
Mmmm deli. Do they sell smiley ham in America?
AnonThoughts 23
jeez....nice friends your boyfriend has. Hope he stuck up for you after they said that. What a-holes. Hope your boyfriend doesn't turn into one.
RedPillSucks 33
They're just jealous cause you smell like bacon. And who checks out someone's ankles? Looks like he was reaching to find something bad to say.
obliviousmaximus 6
Next time your boyfriend's mate says anything like that, just respond with something like "you're only saying that because you've got a penis the size of a chipolata" - and make sure there are at least 3 other people around to hear you say it. that should shut him up
Epikouros 32
Or it could prompt him to whip out his 12 inch dick and hit you with it.
skyeyez9 25
Wow. Your bf has an extremely rude friend! Even if I didn't like a friend's girlfriend, I'd never say something like that.
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
What a dick.
HanaFML 10
1. Shower and Perfume. 2. Go run. It doesn't matter what his friend thinks, your boyfriend thinks your beautiful.
Twipz_fml 3
I think this is a good thing. It shows that your boyfriend isn't a judgemental **** like his friend.
ashl123 19
At least you know you boyfriend thinks your beautiful his friends a dick though
deegeebee 10
Hey if those are the only bad things he has to say about you, you got off easy! smell like deli meat? switch shampoos. fat ankles? do some leg exercises. easy!