Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML
Today I got fired from a very promising new job where I made three times my previous salary from my previous job. Why? Because of a personal belonging, my bumper sticker that says, "How’s my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT." FML
Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML
Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML
Today, I came outside to see someone had written on my car, "I love your hairy butt, pubes, and fat girlfriend!" multiple times. I wouldn't have been bothered if all those things weren't true. FML
Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML
Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML
Today, I got my new license plate, which is the story of my life. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Suuuure, OP. Your wife put it there. Gotcha ;)
lostcrazydiamond 10
I find your username amusing, OP. You don't like them "that much"?
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Comments (50)
2ndSucks 15
Now you know why Chris in accounting has been looking at you funny.
californiapoppy 11
Maybe she's trying to tell you something... For Christmas this year you could buy the both of you a pair of Wranglers
bobelina 2
Everybody likes cowboy butts
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
Not me.
klovemachine 24
I like cowgirl butts ;)
sheethapins 13
The other OP's can't deny.
buckdharma 38
If cowboy butts were candy and nuts... you might be a ''oh henry.''
GrangerGal9089 6
It's better than "I drive my nuts into cowboy butts."
danielhartlesss 13
OP needs to put a sticker on her car, "All I want, is some cowgirl ****"
Rumbelle_fml 22
Except that "****" is widely considered to be far more offensive than "butt", and some people have no qualms about defacing the property of others when they take offense. So that might not be a very wise move.
deaddonkey 15
FYL bumper stickers usually suck in general.
R4inb0wBrit3 13
My mother put a "daddy's girl" bumper sticker on my stepfathers car.
Enslaved 38
Come on, that's funny as hell! Get another bumper sticker that says, "This is my wife's car!" next to the "Honk if you're Horny"! ***I once had a bumper sticker that read, "Bend over, I'll drive". I wasn't brave enough to put it on my car. :P