Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to cut class with one of my friends and we ended up going to Burger King. As we sat down at the table, I heard my name being called. My mum was getting lunch through the drive thru with my little brother and saw my car parked out front. FML
Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML
Today, I overheard the popular kids say that they were planning on going to the local fast food restaurant to take pictures of the obese people that go there. Not only do I work there, but my family and I were planning on having dinner there tonight. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML
Today, I went to Jack in The Box to grab a quick hamburger. I was in a hurry, so I didn't check my order. By the time I opened the bag, I was really hungry. Unfortunately, the burger looked like a 5-year-old wrapped it, and the burger looked bitten into. FML
Today, I was sent by my mother and her boyfriend to pick up some take-out. After getting the food, I began to turn out once the traffic light was green. An asshole cop sped past the red light and slammed into my car, totaling it. When I called my house, my mom's boyfriend asked, "Where's our dinner?" I'm fine, by the way. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML
Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML
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Top comments
cswens25 8
Scarf away not your fault they don't know how to cook.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Just tell them you ARE watching your weight... Go up!
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Comments (67)
benmbarnett 5
Fatty
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Just tell them you ARE watching your weight... Go up!
ariannaimelda 7
Or you could say you slipped on your diet!
Vegnas 13
Awww, you beat me to it! :(
cswens25 8
Scarf away not your fault they don't know how to cook.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Scarfing... is a new one for me. :S
PeteyPablo12308 20
You have never heard the term "scarfing"?? That is very odd.
gc327072 31
3- exactly! Back when my mom and stepdad were dating, his parents would always invite them for thanksgiving, and they made bad food. (Kinda funny, my stepdad didn't like it either). They'd usually go to a restaurant later.
s15c 9
32- I've always heard it as snarfing.
stolencookie 17
If she doesn't ask, don't bother explaining. Lying after that would just make it look worse. lol
bobelina 2
Payton manning?
sens3sfailing 25
Milan Kunis? I'm sorry I'm not site what game we are playing....
robo_thunder 13
Just looks like you broke down on your diet, like most people do. I doubt she blames you.
zinoxity 23
Yeah, pull the 'ol "I hadn't had one in so long and I couldn't help it."
mpsteve137 15
Why are you asking me?
connerwonner 7
It was a rhetorical question.
Cryvosh 10
Let me guess, Santa Claus?
anzie_fml 9
A swing and a miss.
katties 27
That sucks, but not your fault though :P When I'm staying over at my boyfriend's house I always buy some backup food in case I can't eat a lot of what I'm served. I absolutely love his mom! She's super-duper awesome, but not that good at cooking :]
faithlessSheep 5
sometimes honestyis the best policy, true story
superswagbro 7
Spelling is a better policy.
lexa1love 16
Why she missed the space between honesty and is? That's grammar by the way.