Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML
Today I got fired from a very promising new job where I made three times my previous salary from my previous job. Why? Because of a personal belonging, my bumper sticker that says, "How’s my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT." FML
Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML
Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML
Today, I came outside to see someone had written on my car, "I love your hairy butt, pubes, and fat girlfriend!" multiple times. I wouldn't have been bothered if all those things weren't true. FML
Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML
Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML
Today, I got my new license plate, which is the story of my life. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Suuuure, OP. Your wife put it there. Gotcha ;)
lostcrazydiamond 10
I find your username amusing, OP. You don't like them "that much"?
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Comments (50)
YourPainMyGain 2
Sounds like you meant to post this on fmywife, oops!
The_F3rris 11
I love your wife.
PunkCupcake 12
I did that to one of my guy friends once, it said "I <3 Alberta Beefcakes" and it took him 5 months to find out.
BananerzFresh 12
Now you know why they have been laughing at you at work. tisk tisk
lotusenta 14
gee, maybe, just maybe, you deserved it for not actually paying attention to things your wife does.
The_9th_Doctor 18
she's probably laughing at it too
secretlady99 6
hahaha your wife is awesome!
angrymexicanwee 8
You go cowgirl
Wendy O Koopa 5
and on that date shopping for the second car began in Ernest