Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML
Today I got fired from a very promising new job where I made three times my previous salary from my previous job. Why? Because of a personal belonging, my bumper sticker that says, "How’s my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT." FML
Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML
Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML
Today, I came outside to see someone had written on my car, "I love your hairy butt, pubes, and fat girlfriend!" multiple times. I wouldn't have been bothered if all those things weren't true. FML
Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML
Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML
Today, I got my new license plate, which is the story of my life. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Suuuure, OP. Your wife put it there. Gotcha ;)
lostcrazydiamond 10
I find your username amusing, OP. You don't like them "that much"?
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Comments (50)
RougeRamirez 8
Is your name Joe Dirt?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
No, his name is "I don't even like butts that much" :D
spekledworf 18
I thought of Joe Dirt too, if it helps
melsaraj 9
Man up a little and peal it off
zenrael 21
Please rip that off right now. **** that shit.
kyliebear 15
just take it off?
SApprentice 34
Just remove it? If you explain that it makes you uncomfortable then she shouldn't mind too much.
SaltukBugraHan 8
It's the fact that it was there for a while that makes it FML worthy.
oj101 33
#28 - I wonder how he hadn't noticed it? I notice even the tiniest scratches on my car/phone/laptop etc. Granted, not everyone can pay such attention to detail but surely the average person would have noticed a new bumper sticker immediately?
pastnastificatio 4
No idea how long that's been on there, eh?
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Suuuure, OP. Your wife put it there. Gotcha ;)
Werken247 14
uh huh... right next to the rainbow sticker
lostcrazydiamond 10
I find your username amusing, OP. You don't like them "that much"?
fsomelife 26
Not enough to have a bumper sticker about it.
Thisfreakingguy 10
Lol, I'd say its time to start a bumper sticker war!
robo_thunder 13
Better than covering your car in political stickers...right?
TheDrifter 24
Political bumper stickers are fun. I look for the most extreme and non PC ones I can find for my truck, just for the look on peoples faces.