Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some jackass spider decided to lay eggs behind my wall. No matter how many I kill, I always wake up to multiple baby spiders on my ceiling. FML
Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a cobweb right behind my head where I sleep. I went to wipe it off and part of the sheetrock dented in. On further inspection, they were holes in the wall. Termites started coming out of them like something out of a horror movie. My husband is out of town for the next few weeks, and I'm extremely bug-phobic. FML
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Top comments
janelly16 7
Reading this gives me The chills
SkoomaKi 28
Kill it. Kill it with fire, a massive book, a chainsaw, bleach, water, your hands (not recommended), a sword, juice, liquid nitrogen, grenades, a minigun and possibly a thumb tack. Last option: burn house down.
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Comments (161)
XtraEzeee 8
There's no spiders on mars, that's what.
themarshal_fml 6
Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact it's cold as hell.
wlddog 14
Ok ok... Torching the house is a bit extreme. Instead you should get a few cans of bug bomb and let them loose. Then leave the house for a few days and have a team of dozers level the house just to be sure. If you get a fire going you could burn down more than just your house.
wlddog 14
My pleasure. I love my house too much to watch it burn because the idiot next door saw a spider.
gfoxx17iv 0
Except you can't...(I'm definitely not saying you're a complete dumbass or anything)
llamafish 25
I sincerely hope you're not arachnophobic... And that they're not poisonous...
Stormdriven37 6
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
jdizz16 16
Oh dang thats Freaky!!
stormchaser24 24
I modded this.....I need to get a life. Op that sucks but you should get a vacuum to sick those spiders up.
day624 14
Oh crap i would hate to have to be you
clumsychik 1
And there's no one to raise them if you did.