Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one week after moving into my new apartment in a new city to get away from my stalker ex, I met my new neighbour. Yep, stalker ex. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML
Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, my new neighbour is delusional. She’s only lived next door 3 weeks and she’s called the police on me 11 times for “taking his bin out so he can look in my window”, “hanging out the washing so he can look in my window” and “barbecuing with his kids so he can look in my window.” Crazy bitch. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
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Top comments
cuntfacekillah 5
well it's not your fault. I'm sure that woman is just extremely insecure.
green_eggs_and_h 0
You should pretend to be super paranoid too and watch her all the time.
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Comments (159)
ihaveatightbutt 0
just tell her? i mean there isnt really much you can do with something like that but prove them wrong or avoid them
saksxalmo 20
No, the OP should just tell the neighbor that she's gay. Problem solved.
Mythekos 0
How do you know she even thinks that for sure? Maybe you're just attractive and she likes watching you. ;D
goshpeople 4
The fact that the OP put "steal" in quotation marks makes me think that she's quoting the woman. Just having some crazy neighbour lady stare at you all the time isn't exactly going to make you immediately assume she's paranoid about you going after her husband. That's more creepy-stalker-vibe.
SelenaJerzak 0
lol that sucks
NeverShoutDana 13
Well... You could stay in your apartment for two years... They have pizza delivery nowadays.
rattusrattus 19
How would you get money to pay for the pizza?
shaye12321 5
you could always pay by debit/credit ... they do have those fancy portable debit machines now ....... just saying ...
SteelCladAngel 0
some places also have online ordering where you can put in your cc# for current and future orders its rather nice not having to fumble around with the card every time you wanna order pizza lol
zack11742 7
I think they meant how would you earn the money after you ran out
LKadrian 0
scary
YummiGummi 0
ah ****.
EdwardLozano 1
Hi:)
sunthroughrain 0
so blow her and him off go about your life as normal and she will get over it stop whining
iSurf_fml 8
Now, don't be stealin' no man.
aardvarkish 17
Tell her you'll still share.
anothersuicide 0
you should pretend to secretly want her husband :D