Today, I discovered that, according to her primary doctor, my mom never had cancer. That explains why she has the new iPhone, a plethora of designer purses, and a brand new Tesla. Turns out, I’ve been fueling her shopping spree habit, rather than her “cancer and chemotherapy treatments.” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my mother, who's been against me seeking treatment for my cancer, has been going to different churches and charities to get donations for her "poor ailing daughter." I've not seen a dime of this money, and my mom just tells me to pray my cancer away. FML
Today, I found out that the giant tumour on my leg isn’t cancerous or dangerous. My mom cried, and I was super relieved. Later on, I heard her on the phone in tears because now she won’t be able to get a free vacation or home renovations from the Make A Wish foundation. FML
Today, I saw a Facebook post from my mom about my cancer, how she’s exhausted caring for me, and quit her job to be by my side, blah blah blah. The woman hasn’t set foot in my house in 11 months after I got a restraining order against her, and my "cancer" is a mole I’m getting removed next week. FML
Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML
Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML
Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML
Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her about my terminal cancer diagnosis. She responded with, "What makes you think I care at all?" before hanging up. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
And eventually mom will learn the moral of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”… The most charitable interpretation is that there was a time when she thought she had cancer and then when she saw how it made others sympathetic and wanting to help she just milked it for all it was worth. (There was a Seinfeld episode about that.)… Now you know Mom’s nature - Don’t enable her any more! The probability is that no matter what you or her say, you are never seeing a dollar of that money back. But don’t throw good money after bad.
RichardPencil 32
You spent on the order of $100,000 without ever visiting your mom or accompanying her to her chemo treatments? Seems like a small price to pay for being such a shit son.
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Comments (5)
Chazzster 32
And eventually mom will learn the moral of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”… The most charitable interpretation is that there was a time when she thought she had cancer and then when she saw how it made others sympathetic and wanting to help she just milked it for all it was worth. (There was a Seinfeld episode about that.)… Now you know Mom’s nature - Don’t enable her any more! The probability is that no matter what you or her say, you are never seeing a dollar of that money back. But don’t throw good money after bad.
RichardPencil 32
You spent on the order of $100,000 without ever visiting your mom or accompanying her to her chemo treatments? Seems like a small price to pay for being such a shit son.
dreams2383 20
she probably financed the car so he probably didn't spend anything near that.
Marcella1016 32
I wouldn’t have worded it this way, but I was kind of thinking the same thing. There’s LOTS of doctors visits and documentation and details that accompany something that serious. Granted she’s likely a VERY good liar, but it’s still strange that you wouldn’t accompany her to a single appointment or chemo treatment. Still, FYL, OP. It’s gotta hurt being taken advantage of that badly by a parent.
poopface82 25
Can you document this? Because you can sue the shit out of her if you can.
dreams2383 20
I would be so mad,hurt and feel taken advantage of. you might want to cut her out of your life. at least for awhile.
xxWTFxx1981 23
That is just messed up in so many ways. I always hear about people cutting parents out their lives and think to myself what could they have done. Well now I know because that would make me cut my mother out my life....