Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
If you see her trying to duct tape a banana to the cutout's crotch, I suggest you find somewhere else to sleep for a while.
Catkam623 27
Isn't that grounds to be locked away?
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Comments (98)
juliaannw 11
At least shes not having those conversations with you.
evalu8tor 12
Even JB can't show anyone his imaginary friend
nelliegw 26
One less lonely girl..
dannyduck1 7
Op, your life sucks.
420Zombie 17
Pretty sure there was a button for these kinda comments...
msbitz 10
By your user name seems like you solved your problem
menoseloso 13
Hopefully this doesn't turn into a sequel of Single White Female.
EngageZoo5 8
Lmfao. If only we could see the expression on her face when she see's them in bed together! Haha
larsak 3
LOL take it away from her when she's sleeping and replace it with an Enrique poster ;)
infamoushack 10
Get an airsoft gun and shoot it up.
anthony99 14
Get an automatic shotgun and shoot it up
limitedition 25
You should pretend he's talking to you, saying lovey dovey crap & drive her crazy.
MzZombicidal 36
You should tape a recording of a satanic voice and play it when she tries talking to it! Or, y'know, throw away the cut-out if room changes aren't an option.