Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML
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Top comments
Brukernavn 0
Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.
escualida 0
YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!
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Comments (269)
blastvortex 4
Why should the suicide watch be your problem? Oh, wait. That's right, you married her. YDI for taking on problems that aren't even yours to begin with. You could've even handed it off to someone more qualified than yourself. But no, you let yourself get pwned by a manipulative punk instead. If you "loved" her at the time, then that's just peachy. It really doesn't matter though since either way you allowed her problems to infect your life. You need to grow a spine, dood.
Emrysa 1
YDI So much. Yeah, I really pity you, being 'forced' into getting married to someone you don't love. Grow a pair. If your wife is so unstable she'll kill herself without you, she needs therapy, not a wedding ring. You're not doing her any favors by playing her little game, you're not a victim, just an idiot. You know what you'll be saying next? FML I cheated on my wife, because she's crazy and forced me to marry her, now we both have to get tested FML. Yeah. YDI.
snackeyg 0
She's being a clingy bitch. Put in her a mental hospital so she can't commit suicide and divorce her.
derschadenfreude 5
OP, are you sure you didn't mean to submit this to MLIG? doesn't exactly sound like you have much of a problem here.
derschadenfreude 5
OP, are you sure you didn't mean to submit this to MLIG? doesn't exactly sound like you have much of a problem here.
Babydoll543 0
Sorry but killing herself is her problem and not yours. I know it sounds harsh but if she horible sometimes you have to hit those kind of people where it hurts. GET A DIVORCE!
g3rusz 6
Cheat on her with the new girl, tell her, then go on a vacation with the new girl. Either a) she will file the divorce, b) she doesn't do anything, so you are free to file the divorce, c) she'll kill herself which means you'll get to keep your belongings. Either way you win.
hXcsoccerplaya 0
don't feel responsible for the manipulative still- teenager. most people don't even meet the one they want to spend the rest of their life with! if you know she's right for you, and your sure, if you don't act you will live a regret it the rest of your life. I've heard many stories of people who didn't think they could wait for the one and they were impatient and married early. sound familiar? except YOU have a second chance. take full advantage
Eric1 0
So...let her! Grow some balls man! it's better than letting her screw your life forever!
cieramc 0
Okay...first thing: you met a "perfect" woman? No one is perfect. Soon you'll see her flaws, too. Do people not understand that marriage is forever?!! Why would you marry someone you don't intend on loving forever? And now you want to leave her when you already knew she was suicidal. Through sickness and in health? If you don't want to take your marriage vows seriously and you want to be with someone new than make a change. But I hope you realize that you brought this on yourself. Did you really think marrying someone would change the fact that she needs psychological help? You obviously never cared enough about her to help her get help, so why the hell would you marry her? I also feel bad for the new girl. Anyone who will leave their marriage for someone else will probably do the same to everyone they meet. You are a cheater.
owlsong 0
I love this comment. Seriously, if he thinks she's bitchy and depressive, then why did he marry her when he knew that is supposed to mean forever? And this other girl is probably not perfect. For all we know his wife isn't bitchy or depressive at all and he's just trying to make her look bad because otherwise he won't be able to justify cheating on her with this "perfect" woman.
loooooooooool_fml 1
FYL. But in all seriousness, YDI it OP. You let yourself be blackmailed, you're the reason why you're still in this craphole of a marriage. Do the most sensible thing and leave the bitch. So what if she offs herself?
ladymissfrancess 0
agreed! if this girl he met really is the whole package, she'll want nothing to do with a married man, even if he leaves his wife for her. he's still a cheater and based on the dynamics of his past relationship, still seriously unhealthy himself.
cieramc 0
Exactly! It sounds like he needs help, too. Only an idiot would marry someone they don't love enough to be with through thick and thin. Obviously, the wife has issues because who in their right mind would try to manipulate someone into being with her. If you cared about your wife's well-being at all you would have got her help before the wedding. You're obviously having an emotional affair with another woman and that's WORSE than making a mistake and having a physical affair in my opinion. Let your wife lose. Hopefully she can get the help she needs and meet a man that gives a shit about her.