Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's Facebook relationship status was changed to single. When I tried to ask her about, she told me she's a lesbian now. Her mullet should've been a clue. FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied, "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML
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Top comments
Kukironosuke 16
that just means she's already cheated on you and just wants to justify her actions by insinuating you both knew the relationship was over
Jimboom 12
Ouch. But your probably better off without her in the long run. Get yourself a hottie that actually lives in the same country as you and bang her **** off!!
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Comments (105)
Lucky_Adi 0
puppy love
The_Pleb 0
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm army chicks fire in the hole Anywayz fighting is a mans job, go back into the kitchen and make me a sammich or at least be a nurse Thankyou
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
you need to stop talking
twinscrplayer6 0
I agree that fighting is a mans job. there are somethings that need to stay seperate and that is one
metalfan333 0
#43 i agree haha thats exactly what i was gonna say
fightingkittens 39
43 and 96--What the hell? You are by far the most sexist assholes that have ever posted on this site. Get a life and move to Afghanistan if you feel that way.
baffles 0
"Today, I was talking to my ex-girlfriend on facebook." - FTFY
MagicMeds 0
ftfy?
EarlHickey 0
FTFY = Fixed That For You, #58 :)
Kukironosuke 16
that just means she's already cheated on you and just wants to justify her actions by insinuating you both knew the relationship was over
premiermois 5
^^^^^ This times a thousand.
RyeBreadBoy 0
I agree with this, also. It's not all bad, though. Now you can find a girlfriend that you actually get to see regularly.
whataloadofbull 0
fourth
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I know I'm nearly 3 years late...but who cares?
klimpomppp 9
Me, it pisses me off
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
This is a tough one. If you really didn't care, then why would you post a comment saying that you don't care 3 years later? Hmm...
truth215 0
don't get bummed just goto a party and find an tasty broad and bang her out
EnzoMatrix 0
She's such a **** seriously! Sorry for you
Skull_300 0
Bitch!!! **** her...
a_e_iownu 0
She's a bitch for breaking up with him? In your "logic," there's practically no way she could not be a bitch. People break up with each other all the time. Is this something new to you?
xd0rkiee 0
The way she broke up with him was not bitchy at all. What would have been a nicer way to do it? Because I honestly don't know. Long-distance relationships are difficult. If they rarely see each other, I'm assuming they don't go on dates often. Hence, it's like they're not even dating.
Jimboom 12
Ouch. But your probably better off without her in the long run. Get yourself a hottie that actually lives in the same country as you and bang her **** off!!
Ashimali 0
O.O the visual i just got from this comment made me both laugh and cringe in pain...
Mcstud1y 30
Best comment ever
dspadres 0
Wtf does "in the forces" mean?
patticake1601 0
she's a Jedi Knight!!
Foxracin 0
what do u think? army.!!
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
jedi!.... so much awesome in one comment!!!!
fatraptorjesus13 9
are you that stupid?
RainStorm6632 10
I don't know if you're joking or not but if you aren't there's this thing called Google
RainStorm6632 10
I don't know if you're joking or not but if you aren't there's this thing called Google
jandrews10 0
I hope she gets shrapnel in her cooter.
BikerMike 0
you don't have to say that twice