Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML
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Top comments
Brukernavn 0
Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.
escualida 0
YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!
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Comments (269)
Mumblstiltskin 0
Wow, that's ******. I understand exactly what you're going through. When I was in in middle school/highschool my lame bf told me the same thing. Luckily we ended it a year later, but that was the worst year of my life. I was 14, though. At your age I think you should know the difference between a threat and the real thing. No one is going to actually kill themselves over someone who they force to be with them, and if they do then let them. So I say let her do it, or at least threatened (cuz a million to 1 she's a needy bitch), and go with this new girl. Be happy. Do you want to regret your life because of someone who probably does that stuff to everyone she meets? GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!
teiso_fml 0
Dude, NEVER marry anyone, or even go out with someone, because they threaten suicide! Even if they mean it! Call someone to help them, instead. YDI big time.
athame1983 0
oh booohooooo no one MADE u marry ur wife, no no one is making u stay married to her i bet if she found out how cozy ur getting with this new girl she would threaten to kill herself too, doesnt seem to be stopping u
HellHathNoFury85 0
Um, you can't figure out what I'm talking about, yet you know how to use a computer, read and type? This disturbs me. Let me dumb it down, since you need it: Women think this kind of behavior is acceptable because they're women. But if a man does it, everyone thinks he's an abusive asshole. Any woman worth her air *ie, worth the air she breathes* wouldn't act that way. Don't hurt yourself figuring it out.
haraken 0
Give it a few weeks, see if you're still into this dream girl, and if so, start working on a plan to peacefully (or at least, as peacefully as possible) separate from the millstone around your neck that you married. :) If she's that great, she'll be worth it.
rockstarK9 0
You shouldn't live your life unhappy just because of someone else's problems. If she kills herself that's her damn fault, but she won't, it's all attention whoring bullshit. My roommate got out of a six year long relationship with her first boyfriend six months ago and he has always said the same thing.
rell55555 0
man just drop that bitch
JS000 0
That's a terrible reason to marry someone. You're not doing anyone any favors here. She needs psychiatric treatment and honestly, you might consider some therapy for yourself.
Islander_fml 5
Divorce her ass. If she kills herself, it's not your fault. You didn't tell her to kill herself. And YDI for marrying her in the first place. Never ******* EVER let someone guilt you into marriage, or even into a relationship, or into anything at all.
TheOtherNewest1 6
Divorce her. Let her ruin her own life, but don't let her **** up yours.