Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML
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Top comments
Brukernavn 0
Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.
escualida 0
YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!
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Comments (269)
hennessey 0
If you don't want to divorce her, **** up everything and get her to divorce you.
zorn___ 0
Tell her family, have them get a specialist. Try to keep the other chick as a good friend for now. Once your wife's worked through a good portion of her issues, ditch her and get with the better one. This is one of the few FML's that makes me feel bad for the guy sending it in. Best of luck to ya dude.
theshadow013 0
You aren't responsible for her batshit-insanity. You are responsible for yourself and your own happiness. Get her checked out and do something for yourself. You can't live life if you're miserable all the time.
Lisa89 3
you can't stay in a relationship for their life... if they say they will kill themselves it's not your fault. It's their problem. She sounds very manipulative.
schnikerdoodles 0
I would dump her
pinksheep1332 0
your wife should really be comitted and then after she's taken care of divorce her
owlsong 0
Maybe you shouldn't marry someone you describe as "bitchy" or "depressive." Why would you do that to yourself OR to her? If she kills herself, that's her own dumb, misguided choice - it's not a consequence of you not marrying her/divorcing her.
fwongraven 10
Well you should never have married her in the first place - that's no respect to have either for yourself or her, to be threatened into marriage. But contact mental health and I'm sure they will help you to both get her the help she needs and do the least amount of damage possible when cutting ties with her.
xx_irish_rose_xx 0
YDI it for letting yourself be tricked into marriage.
pierre_legendre 0
Dude, if you hate her that much, just get rid of her.