Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
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Top comments
freernnur5 0
you fail for trying to drink and drive
Silent_Harmony 3
Ok so not only do you drink and then drive. But then you start texting too?
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Comments (204)
plexico 4
I prefer to do my rear-ending without the cars being involved. You'd better get a good lawyer, because I think this girl wants to **** you. . . but not in the pleasurable way.
save_me_08 0
Is it just me or does anyone else think something witty = That's what she said...
zoop_fml 0
YDI for not being gay
22jrdn55 15
yeah i agree with you 100%!! OP you ought become gay so you don't get into any future accidents!!! "_"
intrepid00 0
I don't see the FML here. You set out to rear end her. Mission Completed?
CDS09 0
wow, you really arent a bright one are you...YDI on so many levels ....on the bright side you can make a witty joke about how you "rear ended" her, although I am sure at that point she wouldnt much care for witty remarks.
fyourlife88 0
Uh-ohhhhh, prolly put a scratch on the benz-ohhhh
alliemi 0
wow ydi x 1000 for DRINKING AND DRIVING, both of you. and trying to text, too, retard. wow, ydi. lucky you didn't die, though you should've for being so stupid.
Shinzura 0
YDI for drinking and driving and texting...
intrepid00 0
Rear-end joke.
arienh4 0
"I tried to send you something witty but rear-ended you instead. Sorry." Is that under 160 chars?