Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
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Top comments
freernnur5 0
you fail for trying to drink and drive
Silent_Harmony 3
Ok so not only do you drink and then drive. But then you start texting too?
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Comments (204)
deaditegirl 0
Texting while driving after drinking? YDI on so many levels.
theintrollama 0
You ******* dumbass! That is why you don't drink and drive, and why you don't text and drive. And you especially don't drink and text and drive! And then there's the whole thing of you were following a random stranger back to her house. You completely and totally deserve it for being so completely, totally, ridiculously stupid!
Chicostick 0
Well at least you crashed into each other. It would have been slightly better if you took each other out of the gene pool completely, that way we wouldn't have more morons like you drinking, texting and driving at the same time.
shadowryder 0
"how does it feel to get hit from behind? ;D"
Qup 0
you're probably a rotten ****, too.
HarrietPotter 1
Why is this an FML? Seriously. You were driving under the influence AND you were texting? Hopefully you at least learned your lesson, but yeah, you definitely deserved this!
Flounder 2
It is an abomination that there are worthless pieces of shit out you gambling with other peoples' lives. Hopefully the world will get lucky next time and you both will kill each other.
purplepickle 0
you think youre going to have my sympathy for drunk driving AND texting at the same time?!?!? of course you would hit someone. what did you expect? its not like cars drive themselves.
blah123blah 0
I don't get it. You got what you wanted. FYL you missed the exit, U-turned went back to her place and rear ended her.
tony8pie 0
Wow. Your life is so full of meaning and purpose.