Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML
Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML
Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, I already hate the holidays. My mom has been trying to be helpful, but has severe undiagnosed memory problems that our family ignores. They've also ignored all the house repairs, but have no problem consoling her while she cries how mean I am for missing her party, because I used my vacation time to fix the house. FML
Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML
Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML
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Top comments
rockhound 0
Get her a cheap gift, and go on the cruise yourself. But first be sure to return the oven mitts she gives you for some tip money on the cruise. Then send her photos of your nice, relaxing vacation.
x_Cupcakes 0
Wow. Return the tickets and get her a shitty gift too!
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Comments (106)
mitri_fml 3
wow she hates you
josebeto 0
there is only 1 solution, kill her.
skull4k9 0
agree^
wesley99 0
ya killing her would probably do the trick
Bobissmall 13
Surely you would know your mother well enough to know she wouldn't get you something good?
Suekoff16 3
She does know her well enough. And don't call me Shirley
starile 20
*shoots Suekoff16*
Suekoff16 3
Bro, why am I being shot for saying something funny? I know he just died but that was a good time for the line
x_Cupcakes 0
Wow. Return the tickets and get her a shitty gift too!
nattynatters 14
You buy her an apron and save the tickets for yourself. No point in wasting good tickets on bitches.
pink_mess 0
nah i think she should just use those tickets and buy the mom a shitty gift
Judus_beej 0
return the tickets and get her oven mitts too.
Monstee 2
I think it's alright. Women need to learn how to cook anyways.
jake12221212121 4
No, keep the tickets, get her a knockoff gift, and have a great time on your cruise.
Euphemism 0
Aw, you ruined the surprise!
Euphemism 0
Oh wait wait, could it be Santa watching you evadropping and saw you as a naughty girl. So santa felt the need to convince your mom to buy crappy gift, close as the coals!
rockhound 0
Get her a cheap gift, and go on the cruise yourself. But first be sure to return the oven mitts she gives you for some tip money on the cruise. Then send her photos of your nice, relaxing vacation.
tmarie21 0
agree with #8, do it!
PYLrulz 17
I too agree with #8. Get her a cheap gift, go on the cruise yourself, and enjoy
wDeemish 0
Yeaaah there's nothing better than revenge
RileyL29 0
this!
sportsguy5 7
Or she could take a friend
Kio_fml 0
"return the cruise tickets and get her something cheap" Oh god, Christmas has been commercialised.. I remember when it was about the giving of gift's, not expecting to recieve a gift of the same price proportion.
Naitras 15
and why return the tickets?? just buy a lesser priced gift and go on the cruise yourself
rockhound 0
Oh quit it, Kio. Don't even act like you'd be as happy as a puppy with two peters if you were in OP's exact position. You'd be a little pissed too. "Oh my GOD! Oven mitts!? How did you know!? And all I got you were those crappy cruise tickets. Oh well, it's the thought that counts, right?"
miraggg 1
a puppy with two peters hahaha
starile 20
Kio, "when Christmas was about gift-giving"? You really have no idea what Christmas is about, do you?
xgetxbentx 13
kio - I doubt it has anything to do with the price. fact is, op won't even use that gift and their mom KNOWS it isn't useful to them. had it been a cheap gift that op would actually use it probably wouldn't be such a big deal.
Mirorbo 27
This is why I never buy nice things for people other than myself!~ Sure, my boys bitch and moan about it, but that's their problem!~
redbluegreen 41
I love the way you think. Truthfully, quality oven mitts can be a great gift, not to mention useful, even if you hate cooking.
Mirorbo 27
True as that may be, I would still prefer a lovely cruise for myself while the boys stay home and do some work around the hideaway for a change.
redbluegreen 41
Hopefully, when they get older, they can overlook the price or type of gift and look at the thought put behind it. Take yourself on a cruise when you get the chance.
Mirorbo 27
Fuhohohoho!~ No matter how old my boys get, they never learn. Trust me. Clueless entirely.
redbluegreen 41
That's disappointing. I think there's an episode of Malcolm in the Middle they need to see, where the three boys decide instead of pooling the money their mother gave them to buy her birthday present, they got cheap gifts and spent the rest on candy for themselves. It ends happy, but it had a good lesson.
Euphemism 0
Redbluegreen, has a good point with the Malcolm in middle. It shows a lot lessons, ideals, debating, comedy yet that comes with a good understandable comedy. Perhaps your boys needs a visual view from someone else than you, (no offense). "If your lessons doesn't work, use something else."
Mirorbo 27
Honey, if I allow another working television to be around the boys, I won't see them for days at a time. They'll learn nothing and just stare at it for hours, no matter what's on. The last time we had a television, they were standing there like mindless zombies while an infomercial was on.
RonnieBurgundy 0
Did you inbreed?
Mirorbo 27
I beg your pardon!? Oh! Oh no no no. My boys are not 'my' boys! They simply work for me! They're not my sons. I'm only a few years older than them. Physically, that is...I swear those two have the brains of an infant sometimes.
Cyosaric 0
So you sell out?
Mirorbo 27
It's oh-so obvious you darlings know absolutely nothing about me.
SAgirl 23
Use the tickets for you're self and get her a mop
ImaginaryFoe 1
What did you think she was going to get you? Better yet, what could she give that you would think was worthy of your gift? Unless you are extremely tacky, people don't usually know how much you've spent on their presents until they see them. Don't expect them to reciprocate in kind. Give for the joy of giving and not as a sort of bribe.
Euphemism 0
"Whose doesn't takes gift as a joy ways. Could be highly considered as a spoiled brat".