Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
MyHeadHurts
Ireland 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Take it easy on yourself
Today, I came back home from a holiday with family. Finally being on my own, I did some catching up on my masturbation. I have jerked off so much and/or so vigorously, I now have a carpet burn on my penis. FML
Lonely
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Colton
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Rubbing it in
Today, since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve watched so much porn I think I’ve given myself a friction burn on my clit, so now not only does it hurt to even walk normally, it’s way too painful to masturbate, so I’m now horny all the frigging time. FML
exhausted without relief
🌶️ Spicy
Bang one out
Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Can't be bothered
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
RyanM
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
testacular
Plymouth, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Bad ********
Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML
Top comments
Tadeusz_fml 5
Get a hobby. Get help. Go do it now. Also, how did you sunburn your area or the palm of your hands?
DalPozzo13 10
Get a girlfriend, that will solve your problem
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Comments (209)
Tadeusz_fml 5
Get a hobby. Get help. Go do it now. Also, how did you sunburn your area or the palm of your hands?
Adamantoise 0
He may have just sunburned a good portion of his body, making any movement painful. Btw, OP, you should take this opportunity to peel your skin but keep it all intact, so it's like a suit of dead skin!
chunkeechunks 0
He mastubates with his back skin.
futtbuck101 1
Should've used sunscreen instead of you know what
dipo7213 3
is op guy or girl??!?!
tencalories 3
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it's a boy
YourMomsFml 0
try anal
coltonhaskin 0
cummbubble 0
nothin better than tanning with a sock on your ****
jdengel 0
someone watches too much malcolm in the middle
baseball6917 8
getting a life or even a girlfriend would help
6joe9 0
bottomless man :)
tittymagic 0
oh wow... use the inside of your elbow... works for me at least
swimchica22 0
did you burn your dick or your hands? hmmmm.......
nwatso96 0
get a life besides masturbating retard. no wonder u have no life...
Lucidium 0
you suck at sentence structure.^
RAVENxD 0
haha
dcam13 19
read a book?
mrd10 0
or his penis?
MagicGiraffe 12
mass debate with Aloe Vera
Sliim_Shaady 6
Haha!
SenorRickles 0
Then he could turn the skin into a bagpipe and he'd have so much fun playing it that it wouldn't matter that he fried his dick! (Or that he's playing a bagpipe made out of a dried penis skin....)
heimerdinger 0
apparently so do you if you knew what he meant.
gracious9876 0
you kinda watch it too much if you actualy know wgat he is talking about.
nwatso96 0
why the hell did I get so many dislikes? so I'm guessing all the 26 people that disliked it probably ********** along with OP
smith2001 5
join a gang??? the burned ballas?
DalPozzo13 10
Get a girlfriend, that will solve your problem
example947 0
not really the sun burn...
whiteboy7thst 2
Maybe the girl will come with aloe...
1221jamw 11
you're only 15 the real whiteboy7thst can drink
kristledaigle 0
get help then get a life.
xojessayox 4
42- kinda irrelevant dontcha think? lol.
xojessayox 4
42- kinda irrelevant dontcha think? lol.
seanders 10
70/73: Not really that irrelevant. I think he's enforcing the fact that inexperienced children shouldn't be giving sex/relationship advice. and if you are experienced with sex then you're a ***** who's brought shame to their family.
igotnolegs 1
42 - I remember that lad saying he was black :P
dannyboy66 7
who says ops a boy
purpleamandapand 6
69 likessss ;D
profligatesoul 18
dude if OP can't 'love' themselves then how can anybody else 'love' them?
mthurston 14
That is true, when my junk gets sunburned my wife jerks me off with aloe vera and it feels amazing! Loljk I've never had sex and women won't go near me. :(
doctorxxSWAGG 0
Dude you have no life.
kendallwendall 0
thank you captain obvious!
greekgal44 14
leutenant sarcasm^^
SquaredRectangle 0
you are no longer need colonel comeback, thank you for your service to the cause
gearsmaster 0
if anybody wanted comeback they would take it off your lips
theUBERcomment 1
burn
gurly98 13
Ikr
YacL 15
Get some friends? Pick at the peeling skin? Not necessarily in that order.
itsmeyippie 0
if he has nothing to do and is sunburnt, my guess is he has no friends, and was swimming alone. If so, either suck it up or swim
wilsonchewy 0
get some friends to pick at the skin
YacL 15
Or to help him **********, because that seems to be his primary concern.
strangerdanger90 0
hahaha Dutch rudder
pinkandbluepsych 3
If you need to ********** that much... you really have no life.
fluffyrocka 0
Hey dude, worst week of my life...
hubla 0
maybe he produces a lot of semen and has to get rid of it because if he doesn't it hurts his balls or he is always hard
fmltiligothigh 0
Go find some friends. Masterbating isnt the only thing you can do thats fun.
CSRozell 4
are you fun?
AlwaySunny 0
At least ********** with friends..
ryancrites 0
you are not a man, you don't know what it's like..
pertained 12
buy a ps3.
T3P33_fml 0
yeah, you'll be able to buy awesome games on the PSN! ow wait...
Tylerdre 6
win^
pman590 8
xbox mate!
bodmonontheblock 0
or you could have a wonderful time paying for xbox live
iLazy 0
You all say that as though the XboX has not been hacked before. It has been, many times. No damage was done because nothing useful was inside it.
glitchedgamer 0
Buy an NES.
tencalories 3
47 who the hell even said anything about that you idiot and the hell do gamers get so mad at each other dude you all do the same thing sit on your ass and play video games ( don't get me wrong I do too)
xojessayox 4
57- the reason 47 said that is because 11 said "you could have a great time playing psn..oh wait.." because us psn members got hacked not too long ago and we were down for about 25 days. so 47 was saying to all the people that commented about xbox being better that they were implying that xbox never gor hacked before but it did. i think i recall it being down for two weeks a couple years ago. during christmas? i dunno but i hope i cleared that up for you and your hostile comment.
xojessayox 4
57- the reason 47 said that is because 11 said "you could have a great time playing psn..oh wait.." because us psn members got hacked not too long ago and we were down for about 25 days. so 47 was saying to all the people that commented about xbox being better that they were implying that xbox never gor hacked before but it did. i think i recall it being down for two weeks a couple years ago. during christmas? i dunno but i hope i cleared that up for you and your hostile comment.
xojessayox 4
and my apologies for the double post.
xojessayox 4
and my apologies for the double post.
CitrusGirl 0
PS3, Xbox, who cares? I own an Xbox but I have no issue with PS3s because I think gaming is gaming. Unless you think you're cooler than the person next to you because of your KD, or you're an 8 year old who whined until your mommy bought you your console. In which case you need to just calm down.
Blueglasscup 18
Damn it 8! Look at all the havoc you've caused! Fanboys (and girls) are pisssseeedd.
semchuk 6
amen brotha..
YourMomsFml 0
buy a girlfriend
Marktheshark 0
well then stop being a fuckn hypocrite!
lovecraft93 0
I have a PS3 and an Xbox. I don't really get the whole rivalry. Playstation has been round for longer, it's probably what a lot of people played before xbox even existed. personally I prefer Xbox now, but nothing bet the PS2 or Sega Megadrive. :D Oh, and I'm a woman, and my boyfriend is the one who had to make me a sandwich.
pertained 12
I love how much controversy came about because of three words. Perhaps I was just giving OP an honest piece of advice to cure his woes. Woes of boredom.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I LOVE ASSASSINS CREED.
poor_brown_eyes 2
lmao, this made my day... is that a good thing?
Venith 0
yes...kinda.....ok maybe
celestial666 0
hehehe. me too. :-)
lillypadyoo 0
lmao.
ToxicxKitten 9
You existence saddens me.
iLazy 0
Your grammar saddens me.
cavalos94 0
win
FMLidiot 12
I see what you did there
ToxicxKitten 9
Sorry, I don't have the greatest grammar.. ^^' But someone please explain to me what I did wrong in that sentence so I don't screw that up again. D:
ToxicxKitten 9
Oh wait, I noticed the typo there. Sorry, nevermind. DX
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Just use aloe vera as lube.
shannon6 3
My thoughts exactly haha. I don't know nor do I think I want to know what parts of you are burned or how they got that way, but poor OP. Rub yourself down with aloe, drink lots of water, and sleep it off. And stay away from **** or you'll just be torturing yourself.
cbaidchris 6
the minty refreshing kind too. it'll be like fire and ice condoms but for your hand
shannon6 3
Haha nice. Unless that reminds him of hot sex he had while using fire and ice condoms and then he gets a boner that can't be satisfied :( Quick, think about old grannies OP! Unless you're into that sort of thing...
joshijosh 0
lmfao^ im waiting to take my drug test and that almost made me piss my pants.
shannon6 3
;D Aw, don't pee your pants! That would def be FYL.