Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML
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Top comments
bandaidstations 28
Did you at least give the elderly man some company while you were there? He probably forgets who his grandkids are anyway. ;) OP, in no way do you deserve this. Getting out of a hole when you can barely feed yourself is hard. But if I can do it you can too. Just don't give up working for what you deserve out of life!
dideldoodles 17
don't worry OP, your time will come! Stay focused and positive and things will eventually go your way.
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Comments (71)
vegantreegirl 26
Isn't there a food pantry in your area? Ask around and try to find them. Many church's have food pantries. You don't usually have to be a member of the congregation to use them. My church's food pantry has been a total life saver for my husband and I these last few months. Also, if you have access to the internet try googling websites to make money from. Good luck.
team_garra 8
You're lucky nobody caught you
mld4657 28
Brilliant!
ReallyHottChic 14
Sorry to hear that OP. Keep your head up, everything will work itself out.
GhostFox 34
Look up food banks or food charities in your city. Or, hell, the next city if you have to. Or go to a church and ask if they know about any. Sometimes they keep food around for people in need. Maybe even look for a soup kitchen or something.
doodlecloud 27
Wait, what? You realise he will probably miss out on his meal if they think he's already been fed? That's ******. I get that you're desperate...but stealing food from vulnerable elderly folk? Not cool.
MoxleyCrue 17
The elderly man got fed regardless. Unless he went in at a set meal time then the tray would be brought to the room from someone on the dietary staff. Also, the workers probably knew that the man wasn't OP's father. My grandma was in a nursing home and the staff knew all the patients' relatives.
doodlecloud 27
No, I really doubt he got fed regardless, hence my comment. And it's great that your grandma's at a good home but not everyone is fortunate. Many homes don't have a clue about whose relatives are who, particularly if there's a high staff turnaround or the person's relatives visit infrequently.
MoxleyCrue 17
I disagree. He probably did still get fed. At the very least he would have said "I'm hungry, where's my tray" and they'd fix the problem. My grandma's spot was far from great, but the nurses know who they've seen and who they've heard talked about.
timwelsh8776 9
Did it work?
kelizsaiz 4
most American nursing homes give free meals to visiting relatives, to encourage more visits. Odds are the older gentleman did NOT go hungry. So a hungry person got a hot meal & hopefully the older man had some company for dinner & maybe a new "adopted" friend. we warehouse our elderly & disabled while ignoring our homeless & hungry.
bl3ur0z3 17
Except he didn't get a plate for himself, he got the resident's plate "for him." So odds are the nursing home believed the elderly man's son had brought him his food and he never got it. Btw, when my dad was in a nursing home, it was $3 until he entered hospice and we literally counted down his last 6 days. Then it was free to keep us there 24/7. $3 is cheap, but not free.
bl3ur0z3 17
Was there no food bank or soup kitchen to save you from having to steal from an elderly man?
danimal_crackerz 26
I sincerely hope this is from a public computer and not by a personal device if OP can't even feed him/her self.
MoxleyCrue 17
Because poor people shouldn't have cell phones? Even at my most broke I make sure my phone bill gets paid because without it I couldn't work.
lavapants 15
But he's super broke, his priorities should be food, not some device.
Wyrmflight 13
in our modern society it is absolutely necessary to have a computer or phone capable of accessing the internet, and not every city has a public library. Besides, it's possible they could have bought it before they were this poor.
Apparentlyacunt 18
If op had taken out a set term mobile or isp contract before any financial difficulties, they would still be liable for any remaining balance if they cancelled early.