Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, after presenting my husband with a more than fair request to pay me an hourly wage for being a stay-at-home mom, he laughed his ass off and told me if I want money so badly, I could get a job. He'd rather strangers in daycare raise our babies than pay me what I'm worth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Alihb 16
Assuming you declined, did he offer to pay you in Trident Layers after?
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Leave in the most amusing way possible.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Leave in the most amusing way possible.
BaraSkit07 12
By removing all her clothes (or down to only underwear), jumping him, then hit him in the head with a lamp. That'll show him. Or just spit on his floor.
alexwow1 13
Tell his parents and gross
assassinbanana0 20
Considering he has a son, I think it's safe to assume he's too old to be told on by his parents
salazara 10
He just made an offer you shouldn't refuse ;)
\ 28
If both parties were strapped for cash then this should just be written off as a favor
xlord 27
^^ Can you help explain that logic to all my debt collectors.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
49- What system are you in?
BrookRae 19
Not necessarily. There are people under 18 who are already parents.
kurodansei 16
58 that won't work for you as I am sure your debt collectors are nott broke.
alchemist27 13
He has a kid
Alihb 16
Assuming you declined, did he offer to pay you in Trident Layers after?
NoMore_CoolNames 14
I never get paid with Trident Layers :(
Alihb 16
I never get paid....
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I love when Poseidon hangs out with me, too! Oh... well, that works, I guess.
SwaggCapone 11
I wish I got offered to be paid with sex
starile 20
She's a chick, so guys would PAY to have sex with her. She'll just have to add the sexual favor to his tab, then.
IworkAt711 14
68- shes a babysitter, not a prostitute.
mali90 5
haha
Brak_Spaceman 19
Nobody ever pays me in gum!
smc3106 25
Tell him to pay you, in food!
jessBeAqueen 13
more like food stamps
\ 28
No. No. Just, no.
starile 20
That's right, empty out the fridge so the poor child will have nothing left to eat! Now that's called business.
forevergreen13 9
kick him.
soldiat_fml 17
In the balls. If he can't afford one babysitting session for his kid, he doesn't need to have more.
Jea2096 11
Sorry OP! Background check next time?
RedPillSucks 33
Wow! Was the baby's mom his previous baby sitter?
ImAFaker 29
My mom babysits me. :)
Koppol 15
Sounds like the plot of some weird porno.
IscoreOnU 19
It's the start to a lot of pornos. Usually a whole tag on it
Alihb 16
Plot of some weird porno? Makes sense the guy with the Jiraiya avatar suggested it
jjander69 11
Sue?
NoMore_CoolNames 14
For what?
gloooooria 14
6 hours of babysitting? The court costs would be more then that. But if you win I'm sure you could sue for that too. But who has time to sue for 6 hours of babysitting?
Bellaness 11
You Maybe don't know this, that crap don't work in the rest of the world, only in the US.
michael666 7
if its over 25 dollars in damage or loss' you can take it to court,
summerguy97 16
Yeah but I think that the work was under te table, so she wouldn't really have any legal claims. And 62, not all Americans are sue happy, and it is not as easy to file a claim as it seems.
Alihb 16
#60 aint nobody
cancersux91 9
he is right, could sue for sexual harassment and soliciting. Also given the age of most babysitters the poster may even be underage, another charge against him.
science-teacher 15
lol dat name ;)
websphere69 27
That is just plain rude and inexcusable. ..
Damned_Architect 25
This man is scum and isn't worthy of being a father. if he can't pay a babysitter now, what wont he be able to pay for his child in the future? Sorry OP that this happened to you, but I feel worse for the kid!
Awahso 25
And what if he was at work? Working to get money to support him and his family. To me at least it sounds like he was embarrassed and said sex to try and lighten the mood.
Damned_Architect 25
Thanks for replying with a possible alternative, but I doubt it was like that. The broke father could just have explained that he was short on cash and offered an apology and an IOU. This guy didn't do that to OP, he just offered his penis to her instead. Which suggests that he plans to get through life with his dick instead of money.