Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Today, I was working as a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting thirty something guy got on board with two huge bags. Worried, I kept an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML
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Top comments
DDpandaz 0
Giggity
Analtality 4
Imagine what they did if they confiscated it.
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Comments (130)
th4m4ster 6
kinky vacations eh
ilovevegas106 2
LOL
Emilycatherine 0
Atleast y'all were prepared for that arrest(;
flockz 20
*thumbs up* ahaha good one dude. that flockz guy must be pissed. i wonder whe- OH YOU MOTHER ******!
rattusrattus 19
Kinky win. You have the rattus seal of approval.
AthleticSwaqq 8
Um, you're about me says you are from England, so I wouldn't talk about America's laws, or doings if you actually don't know.. Or aren't even from America. So speaking, no they wouldn't lock you up.
ikickgingers 15
They would have locked them up? Okay... ? I don't think TSA gives a rats ass if you fly with adult toys. Just be nice and remove batteries so they don't get suspicious when your bag starts jack rabbiting all over. Get it? Jack rabbit. Ha ha ha.
Wise_Old_Guy 3
Now you guys have somewhere free to stay at for your holiday, although it may not be the finest of all places..
gene818 13
I have gone through their security in the past summer, and it has definitly gotten tighter.
Torva_fml 16
Because your comment was retarded, that's why....