Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Today, I got to school and my stuff was searched by a police officer, which isn't normal. As I walked to my locker, there were several more police officers patrolling the hallways. Turns out a VERY troubled kid who was expelled last year had issued a threat, so they're taking excessive precautions. This is America. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
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Top comments
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
- Quilting isn't knitting. That's like telling someone to drill a hole with a welding torch. - You can knit while between classes, or waiting for a class to start, or riding a public bus to campus. - The only time you shouldn't have knitting needles is when you have your crochet hook.
Madeline69 0
Well it's a good excuse for cheating "Are you looking off someones paper?". "Why no I'm just finnishing this quilt and there are two big convienient holes in it."
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Comments (56)
catcatcatherine 0
Haha knittas in the house! I've never had this happen but work at an LYS and have heard many a horror story about knitting needles and planes...
Pointy130 0
Yeah, my mom got held up from a flight because some crazy chinese lady was trying to steal her knitting needles. /not even joking.
FarSide 23
well... they could have put someone's eyes out...
Sun_Kissed18 25
Or, ya know, stab someone... o.O
Firestar1202 0
YDI for tying to kill people with knitting needles.
pinto502 0
lmfao! :D
djqlue 0
WTF were you doing with knitting needles in the middle of an exam anyway?? That was dumb of you
catcatcatherine 0
There is no situation I can think of in which knitting needles should not be on your person.
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Making a scarf? Who doesn't like a scarf?
rightsaidred 3
Dude, I have knitting needles with me at all times. I knit on the bus, I knit on my break at work, I knit at restaurants... muggles (that's non-knitters to you) just don't get it.
KalvinAlexander 0
why you carry metal knitting needles to your exam ?
redbluegreen 41
Magic.
Intellectualist 0
*poof*
Madeline69 0
Well it's a good excuse for cheating "Are you looking off someones paper?". "Why no I'm just finnishing this quilt and there are two big convienient holes in it."
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
- Quilting isn't knitting. That's like telling someone to drill a hole with a welding torch. - You can knit while between classes, or waiting for a class to start, or riding a public bus to campus. - The only time you shouldn't have knitting needles is when you have your crochet hook.
brinky09 0
Fa sho. Knitting is the new black, yo. Everyone's wearing it ;D
RubixMonkey 0
That must be awkward for you to be wearing someone knitting
idkmybffmika 0
ahaha for real. love crocheting, but i don't bring my hooks to school, exactly for that reason.
sasonzal 4
once i almost got into serious troubels for picking up a kitchen knife that cant cut shit in my school,if i would of got in troubels for that its could be the most fuckt up day ever
EireGoBragh 1
What did that have to do with anything? Also learn2english.
n0thingp3rsonal 0
so its not your thing, get over it
hobopatz 0
hahaha great. i wonder what idiot reported you?
watermind 0
Well you can seriously hurt someone with those if you want. Then again you can easily do it with a sharp pencil too.
Tsumetai_fml 0
i know right a pencil is more dangerous than a knitting needle in my opinion back in 5th grade i was sitting in class when this girl got up to sharpen her pencil going back to her seat she plunged it into my arm wtf? i barely knew her, not like i did anything to deserve it. the tip broke off inside my arm ;.; the lead of the pencil left a permanment mark that i still have 10+ years later
Darling_Cherry 5
That'll teach you to be a hipster doofus.