Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
You're one-fourth of his genes.. Technically he's 4x more of a waste.
qbkilla55 0
been missing my sister for 6 months, whats the number in her ear?
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Comments (86)
leadman1989 16
Challenge accepted!
Freeze_fml 17
What challenge? Two females producing a child? Good luck.
leadman1989 16
Lesbian FML FTW sorry didn't notice the name and no gender symbol Boy do I feel silly srry. ^-^
m0tl3ycru3 0
That's like me hitting on jennifer lopez
Shy_Anne 10
Old people are wonderful :D
LiveLaughFML 10
i don't think OP's grandfather was trying to be offensive. if that was my sexual orientation i'd feel complimented :^)
youcunthole 0
They could just go to one of those sperm places if they did want a baby.. Or adoption
ALpein 0
Today, my girlfriend of six monthes brought me over to meet her family for the first time. Upon seeing me, her grandfather said, "What a waste of good breeding stalk." FML
lunargh 7
Or OP is a guy - Mandy can be short for Mandel (like Mandy Patinkin), it's a Jewish thing. The idea of a Jewish grandfather getting into eugenics is interesting, though...
Daralea 21
Hey, it could still be a fun challenge.
ReesesPuffs 0
You're one-fourth of his genes.. Technically he's 4x more of a waste.
docscientist 10
He means that the girlfriend is no good...
GirlWithName1324 0
No the OP is lesbian, I think it's a compliment.......but you know old people
Renesaga 8
To clear it up for you guys: OP is a lesbian, she brought over her girlfriend, and grandpa thinks the girlfriend is attractive, but she's a waste because she's lesbian, and thus can't reproduce.
Ranimal 12
#50, dead on.
Hansemans 17
#50, glad someone explains it in the upper percentiles of the comments, so many people can read it before posting without understanding.
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
Thx I was about to have a
gracetaylor 0
couldn't have put it better myself!
dihannasaurus 9
nice
eeppiicc 8
As long as you like her it doesn't matter what he thinks.
leadman1989 16
He's saying the GIRL is good stock being wasted on his grandson.
eeppiicc 8
Ohhh now I understand. Thanks for clearing that up. I wish I could still edit my comment.
Marcella1016 32
Oh wow I didn't get that either thanks. The word "breeding" made me think it was some kind of racist comment lol
leadman1989 16
I failed too I didn't realize that op was a girl... I wish I could edit my comments too. -_- Douche grandpa either way lol.
thisisafunnyname 12
op liking her isnt the oly thing that matters...it also matters that she likes op cause itd be pretty close to rape if otherwise
qbkilla55 0
been missing my sister for 6 months, whats the number in her ear?
USMC_FTW 3
This is funny but requires some thinking which is probly why you arent getting many thumbs up
ismellrealbad 0
Cool
ismellrealbad 0
Cool
Cmdr_Shepard 17
FYL, I'm glad that my grandparents aren't bitter like that. Don't be discouraged by Mr. Sourpuss, keep dating your gf!
flockz 20
i would say tell your grandma that, but that would just be ****** up.
everett0826 0
Wow..... Made my day!
Freeze_fml 17
Given that your genes are derived from him. Oh, your name is Mandie and this is a lesbian FML. I see now.
Angel_Tigeress 5
Your name is Mandie, so I am asssuming you're a lesbian? In that case, that is so rude :( I'm so sorry you have such a prudish, homophobic grandfather. I really hope he was just kidding.
TheDrifter 24
Homophobic? He's just saying that her gf is pretty and would make cute babies. A lot of people would react like that when any good looking person told them they had decided not to reproduce.
Strafeh 9
Pfft. Louisiana
mserrato 8
Who cares what he says as long as you like her