Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
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Top comments
AverageJoey 18
Slid him a another note saying "u fokin wot m8?"
Welshite 40
First class doesn't mean a person has class. That man is a perfect example.
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Comments (59)
KrDizzy 16
"Plooky" means to be pimply-faced/bad skin. Usually in reference to teens.
gamernation89 10
I would take that note and write on it if you want to insult me say it to my face then I'll kick your ass
xluciferx666 21
I would like to apologize for my uncle ever since the drugs he's been a bit of a cheeky bugger
xninix_fml 36
According to Google a plooky is someone who: engages in nonorthogenital forms of sexual penetration lending themselves to consecutive reciprocity between partners.
drc428 5
shite that ain't helpin'
DanielleinDC 34
Why let some schmuckbreath like that ruin your day? Roll your eyes, tear up the note, and shake your head that someone is so miserable in his own life (I'm assuming a dude wrote this) that he has to go writing nasty notes to others.
buckdharma 38
I believe the man was referring to an event he just witnessed that left him speechless, and he had to share his delight with another human being. As best I can decipher, it involved teeny tiny bald hoohaas involved in some sort of contest that resembled a bake off.
Zebediabolical 45
I'm curious as to what OP was doing when he gave OP such a note. Humming, tapping incessantly, singing along with the music on headphones, busting ass, popping zits... Most people don't write notes like that for no reason.
Gurtol 9
the proper Scottish response would be to stand upand shout "****** moan then!"
yolololol3 17
who says that?
AutisticAbyss 10
OP, you should have eaten the note & said "thank you I was felling a little hungry" wile squinting like clint.