Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Top comments
AverageJoey 18
Slid him a another note saying "u fokin wot m8?"
Welshite 40
First class doesn't mean a person has class. That man is a perfect example.
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Comments (59)
Tarlachia 33
As well versed as I am in the English language, 'plooky' was a new word for me. I'm glad I'm not plooky. Thanks Google!
jojimugo 20
People still do notes?
doctorhook86 25
Yeh breh, paper is never gonna go away.
MrSassypants 34
Yeah. Even if we stop using paper as something to write on, paper airplanes are fun as ****.
Retaheki 27
#40, it's even worse because there are those people that don't like paper planes but collect 'origami' that looks like paper planes.
MCRbae 17
that's a Scottish compliment for you
Vestin 18
I'm sure second class insults sound a lot more pedestrian and unrefined...
swanheart 35
What a sweet talker! Give him a Glasgow kiss to say thanks.
Asrien 8
Is that anything like a Liverpool kiss?
swanheart 35
Haha not sure what that is. A Glasgow kiss is a headbutt though lol
MRP360 14
shoulda said "I'll *** ye up, swer on me mum"
lipun 8
ask him, why did he slid this note to you, any specific reason to use the word '****'? moreover, make sure no body near you miss to watch you approaching politely asking him for clarification. this is my way, I might be wrong.
TiggyBonkers 32
Was he Scottish?
zenrael 21
Does anyone translate retard?
soulreaper12296 28
What does "plooky" mean?