Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
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Top comments
Nymeria_fml 25
I guess it's more of a hydrogen bond now, right? Not so strong.
Lebeaugars95 20
Chemistry just isn't your thing, Na mean?
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Comments (95)
Nymeria_fml 25
I guess it's more of a hydrogen bond now, right? Not so strong.
Pleonasm 36
Don't underestimate the power of H+, especially when pumping.
Wizardo 34
I think the fiance suffered a dipole, literally.
Wiringify 22
Genius, #10.
Ryuzaki_L 11
I think you mean London dispersion since hydrogen bonds are the strongest IMFs ;)
Nymeria_fml 25
No, I meant hydrogen bonds, since they're weaker than covalent bonds and even ionic bonds.
ZevVeli 10
Hydrogen bonds are the strongest intermolecular bonds. I'd rather my relationship with my SO be inter rather than intra.
muzy 23
Some of these comments are a scathing indictment to the education system...
Ryuzaki_L 11
My bad, I would have said dipole dipole since they're even weaker than hydrogen bonds Though yes I am aware they're weaker than covalent and ionic bonds
tantanpanda 26
the level of retard here is STRONG. INTRAmolecular forces are way stronger than covalent bonds. London despersion forces LDF are the weakest, followed by dipole bonds, then hydrogen bonds, then the latter. No need to downvote #36 Just because you don't know what LDF are.
ThongWarrior 17
More like dispersion force that connects them right now
CannotBeSeen 10
Nah, Hydrogen bonds are the strongest!
kutemotoka 15
It's the third time I see you commenting on a FML post. I recognize you by your profile picture xD
danman27 15
In strength from greatest to least it's covalent, hydrogen, dipole dipole, then London dispersion
Louie2013 12
Chemistry sex FTW
PennyLane27 32
I'm married to a chemist. He likes to do it on the table, periodically.
Lebeaugars95 20
Chemistry just isn't your thing, Na mean?
cakefete2 31
That was sodium funny.
HeartYou101 31
I slapped my Neon that one
Sunflower1919 19
I'm sad I missed out on making these puns. They were right on the tip of my tungsten.
Wizardo 34
All the good puns argon. If I can get a little He He that's good enough for me, K.
201chasew 22
At least he didn't say that you have 67 protons.
extrasnipes 22
For people who don't know, 67 is Ho.
Ichiya 29
I bet they do it on the table periodically.
Secret_Ninjaa 35
#55, you ruined it.
tantanpanda 26
no need to barium.
Ichiya 29
Na I deserved it. Ill just sulphur through it.
RpiesSPIES 27
Au, I'm late.
Ichiya 29
You had a golden opportunity there, and you took it.
swarley77 10
#Chemistrylife
Emzinatorbot 26
Lesson learn: don't ask him what it means just go along with it.
pjsr 33
Exactly, #5. Better to just say, 'Yeah. Oh, **** yeah!' because geeks need love too.
stupidface15 16
for those who dont know: covalent bonds are like really big versions of chimpanzees
photographer49 22
#6 Maybe you and OP can go back to high school and take chemistry again?
R2Y2 22
What the **** are you smoking, man.
Demon_of_Light 27
I think 6 is just trying to troll people.
AlwaysWatching 27
I feel like the reason there are only five other comments is because nobody wanted to think about the long explanation of what OP's boyfriend meant
Demon_of_Light 27
Which was what, that he wanted negative forces to come between them? His comment still makes no sense to me.
KK3137 31
Share your extra parts?
BlondePsycho 43
Maybe stick to simpler dirty talk?
Pleonasm 36
Stop being so electro-negative about all this OP, other wise you'll jeopardise your bond.