Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, and since I found out that I'm pregnant, I've been sober. I used to smoke weed to help with me depression and anxiety, but now I can't even take prescription medicine for it. I'm about to throw hands at this point. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
Today, I realized that if I run out of cigarettes my husband wants nothing to do with me, and when he hits me during a mental breakdown it's all my fault cause I had it coming. He's 40 and acts like this. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
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Top comments
OptimusSlime 23
Maybe it's best to avoid guns, weapons, and such for now...
tin_cup 27
Take a deep breath. Things will get better.
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Comments (72)
chosha_fml 27
F the life of everyone around you, in the short term anyway. Hope you can get to a better place soon. That irritation is a sign of how badly you need to quit.
strangelightning 15
Anyone would want to hit the guy who was honking at you like mad. Don't worry OP, things will get better with time.
SecundusSecunda 27
You can do this, OP! Congratulations on choosing to improve your health. And remember, you, too, can shoot and run down old ladies in GTA V.
CrazyChiC42 10
Good job you! Maybe now is the time to take up yoga or meditation or pick up a physical hobby to work off your irritable energy like running or boxing. Or mayhaps take a lone camping trip.
MidnaLink 35
You're suffering from withdrawal symptoms. You're supposed to gradually reduce your usage, not quit the whole thing altogether.
sNOOBie_fml 24
I would suggest that you quit one at a time, not both, since it's probably the abstinence making you get riled up. If it's a large intake, you should lower the amount first and then go cold turkey. Good luck improving your health and bank account, but think of your own happiness too.
SilverInGray 25
A lot of times the two are linked in someone's mind, so doing one leads to the other, so it's best to stop both.
Ichiya 29
When my mother quit smoking she bought 4 packs of cigarettes and set a deadline. Something like the first few days she could only smoke 4 a day then down to 3 and so on until she quit. She had done the math and by the end of the last pack she was fine. Its been 2 years since she quit. I recommend a method like that to help the body handle the loss of those substances.
mercyelvira42 23
Congratulations for wanting to quit. Cold turkey is definitely the hard way to go. I quit cold turkey and it sucks. But what helped, besides learning that I was pregnant, was chewing gum and stress balls. The gum keeps you from eating everything in sight (because the mouth fixation makes you want to eat for some reason) and the stress ball is pretty obvious. If not just to squeeze away the anger and frustration, it'll strengthen your grip and wrists. (Hee hee)
mcr101 14
I don't drink or smoke, nor do I have anything to quit and I feel the way you do
Tyrez 32
Heh. That's pretty much what I was thinking. It bugs me when people are slow to cross since I always do my best to not hold anyone up.
edmunson 22
Yup...always thinking "knees to chest, bitch!" Probably way too often!
kowsee 22
Good luck OP! Will power and support is going to be your best friend and possibly getting a hobby that's healthier. :)
w0nderwh4t 14
Damn. I would be mad too if I forgot about my turkey in the fridge