Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML
Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML
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Top comments
Renesaga 8
Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95
TheComputerGuy96 16
Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)
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Comments (169)
Nickolazx 0
Damn some of those freaking commercials totally wash our brain. Sometimes you feel you can't stop watching.... WTF!?
keepmeonthedl 7
umm turn off the tv? or if you can't do that manually either then leave the room. there's ways to fix this problem. I would say unplug the tv but that might be a little dangerous. not sure
jackieo2010 0
Um, Do you only have one TV in your house/apartment? Just saying, most people have more than one tv where they reside. Sooooo go to another tv after unplugging that one, or do something productive. Seriously. YDI for not having an ounce of common sense. Lmao.
Chandy_fml 2
No, actually, I don't think most people do. I don't even get cable, it's a complete waste of time and money as far as I'm concerned. We only have a tv for gaming.
spartan_girl 0
there might be some statistic saying that most households in the US have multiple TVs, but most college students and recent graduates that I know only have 1 TV. I don't know how old OP is, but it doesn't seem unusual to me for a person to have only one TV. But as for going and doing something productive, I completely agree. Even doing something else unproductive, instead of sitting there watching an infomercial would be a way to get out of the situation
christa953 12
um who said u had to keep watching the tv??
Quest_ 13
So you kept watching it anyway. YDI, ********.
null_fml 11
********?! I guess that explains how/where she would be using the penis pump.
HighStakes 0
LOL win^
Quest_ 13
Haha, legit.
Sheyrena 1
Sorry, but this made me laugh :D
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I know OP said TV, but she could've meant the cable box. Mine doesn't have channel buttons, and since everything comes through that, the TV buttons are useless. I agree that she ought to just read a book instead, though, or at the very least, hit up Hulu. BTW, those commercials piss me off. Penis pumps are covered by Medicare, while so many people have no access to more vital medication and medical implements?! That alone is an argument for US health care reform. -.-
1timeusername 0
US can't afford healthcare they're 13 trillion dollars in debt... fun fact: Obama spent more money in his first 100 days than bush did in his two terms. What did he spend it on? no idea but he got a Nobel prize for it. he will not be re-elected
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Uh, where did I say anything about supporting Obama? There's no denying the system needs to change. I didn't say how I thought that should be accomplished. My point is that the government is buying penis pumps when some people can't afford insulin. That's a problem, in my book.
1timeusername 0
it does but they can't change it now. no money. can you buy a sandwich if you have no money? no. and one day the people who have been giving you sandwiches are gonna want them all back when they need them, and you just wasted your sandwiches. this is basically what Obama did and got a Nobel prize for it
RedPillSucks 33
Why don't you pull the stick from your ass so your hardon for obama can subside. At least he didn't start a pointless war, killing 4000 american soldiers and 100000 Iraqi while looking for weapons that he knew didn't exist.
No_habla_espanol 11
Haha, shut him up.
Anaxes 5
RPS, don't you mean hardon for Bush to subside?
BlueTwist89 0
I'd still pull the plug and risk it. I've done that so many times and nothing bad has come of it.
PaperCandles 0
omg, that does suck! poor you, you HAVE to sit on your fat ass and watch tv. i feel for you. note the sarcasm.
Nerry_fml 0
I like how you assume the OP is fat just cause they're are watching tv.
Nerry_fml 0
they are*
Airborne2002 7
maybe its an old tv with no buttons and she cant afford a good one so if she unplugs it, it will no longer work, but u could still get ur fatass up and quit watching it
wolfey257 0
I have never owned a tv with out a power button, and all my tvs came from good will (or some such crap) op needs to get a treadmill or gtfo the house