Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I got home after a long day and decided to unwind a bit. I put some porn on the TV but promptly fell asleep. I woke up three hours later to the same video playing, but realized a had left my blinds open. I broadcasted three hours of Athena Faris having sex to my whole street. FML
Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML
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Top comments
ChaCerCam 14
If you were that angry over a guys ass crack, just watch lesbian ****?
xxbvbsusanxx 21
I'm sorry OP, maybe you should just take a nap?
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Comments (105)
xxbvbsusanxx 21
I'm sorry OP, maybe you should just take a nap?
DontClickOnMe 28
Maybe after he takes his nap, he'll be able to fap. =)
incoherentrmblr 22
Once you try to pop, the fun don't stop...
rambleramble3 11
19, Yay rhymes :)
little_one 20
Fap and Nap by the makers of Milt & Bradley
Louve55555_fml 5
I'm sympathizing with this guy, **** often looks saddening or infuriating for conscient men, or women
FabCee 18
lol good one
ChaCerCam 14
If you were that angry over a guys ass crack, just watch lesbian ****?
AoC15 10
The cameraman would still piss him of ha
pussystank 18
Dyke **** ftw
incoherentrmblr 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If he still got pissed off at lesbian ****, he's probably gay or the actresses used didn't do a good job...
keirookami 11
That makes less sense than anything I've ever heard...
thejimler 9
74, I know, that's the ultimate boner-killer for some tasteful girl-on-girl love. Either some moron yammers on with unwanted commentary "uhhh this is sooo hooort", or they put dudes singing/rapping as background music. If I'm watching one-gender pron I don't want to be reminded of the other one.
Rallred32 20
2, I don't think OP could stand hearing two girls say "You like that? Yeah?"
lifein2014 13
Tf did I just read 0_0 lol
Welshite 40
A FML.
newnightsky 5
they talk about guys asscrack in straight ****?
cheyy_xox 10
An applies only when the following word starts with a vowel. Last time I checked F wasn't a vowel. Smh at you and the six other idiots who liked this. Next time you try and correct someone make sure they're actually wrong and it's not just you who thinks they're wrong.
asnakelovinbabe 16
43, how do you explain "an hour" then? We've all been doing it wrong? Right? -.- It doesn't just apply to what letter the word starts with, it also has to do with the phonetic sound of it. "Eff Emm El" is how most people read FML in their heads. Therefore it's perfectly logical that they would say "an FML"..... Just as you would say "write an F on the chalkboard." So what was that about next time you try correcting someone? Something about making sure you know what you're talking about?
Godsofdracos 15
Both of you calm your ****... Bonus points if you do it sexily so op can finally finish fapping.
Arieslink 22
I've seen FML written by admins as both "a FML" and "an FML", and considering you can say it as the letters or the words (as some people do with "lol"), both would be correct.
Subtext 10
If you say "FML" as a word, maybe...but I can't imagine anyone would do that.
BirdieCurls 25
I wonder if anyone pronounces it 'Fummel' like 'Fml'?
PANDALEGIT 8
# 43 Are you actually stupid or just a troll? I really hope you're just a troll because I knew "an" worked with more than just a vowel since early grade school.
Animekid126 13
I though "an" only applies to vowels?
Animekid126 13
Never mind..
Soviet_American 29
We went from reading about some guy being angry at ****, to a grammar lesson. Wtf?
ImAFaker 29
Calm down and find a different video to jack to. Or maybe find a massage therapist to help you relax.
13ky13 20
Or just eat a snickers.
thatoneninjadude 14
$2 happy ending?? hahaha!!
Enslaved 38
That's understandable. I'm very picky about the type of **** I watch too. I can't stand when the girl morns like crazy and the damn guy hasn't even touched her yet!
RedPillSucks 33
I know that was an auto correct but it's actually funnier that way. More girls should do that
tbro47 23
If you think that's bad you should try looking into the Japanese stuff. Closer to screaming than moaning
trell000 13
Agreed,I can't stand it when I'm "in rhythm" and they show the guys face for what seems like forever.
kaytasha 18
When a girl begins to moan even before she is touched, it takes mechanical to a whole new level.
trex454 21
why did you wait ten minutes? there are millions of pornos. it takes me 30 secs to decide if I like one or not
REALAfroninga 11
It takes me 30 seconds to finish one.
juststephhere 23
Not a good day for you... Hope you de-stress soon!
killer0689 20
help him destress
Pandaburr1 15
I haven't watched a porno for more than 30 seconds.. you're a champ
iLike2Teabag 27
Are you the original "two pump chump"?
Pandaburr1 15
I invented the two pump chump
aubama_fml 15
take weed man
silvercamaro 22
People don't generally tend to "take" weed unless they're stealing it from someone else.
warsun 27
Not cool man
dDailydDosage 8
Um no. Instead of putting substances into his body, there are plenty of other healthier alternatives to relieve stress. Plus it might be illegal where he lives.
twodotgirl 8
sleep is the answer