Today, I’ve worked out that my neighbour is cheating. Her husband leaves at 7, another guy arrives at 9, vigorous sex noises last for an hour, then the guy leaves. It’s come to this has it, I’m so bored since losing my job that I’ve become a nosy neighbour lady. Why won’t anyone hire me? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML
Today, I found out my wife has been taking "Love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML
Today, and intermittently ever since I moved in, the guy who lives in the apartment next to me keeps having loud sex with his hookup of the week, while I’m trying to watch TV, eat dinner, etc. I can’t even complain about him to my landlord. Why? The noisy guy is my landlord. FML
Today, and since we moved on base, my neighbor’s wife has tried to have an affair with me. I got tired of it and told him. He blew smoke. I found out she’s in a cheating wife’s club, who all defend each other. She proclaimed to all our neighbors that I’m a predator and I'd attacked her. They believe her instead of my wife, who saw everything. FML
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my assmunch neighbor snitched on me and told my wife I was bringing my girlfriend home to sleep over while she worked her job during the graveyard shift. All because I’d forgotten to return his lawnmower. FML
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Top comments
Pink_Turnips 14
soooooooo are you planning on giving the husband a hint or no? slip a little note, into his car suggesting he come home at 930 unannounced or something of the sorts.... maybe its overstepping, but as someone whom has been cheated on, the husband should know
RichardPencil 32
Why do you need a job when blackmail could be a source of steady income for you? Maybe you could become a private investigator. You'd look great with a Tom Selleck 'stache!
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Comments (3)
Pink_Turnips 14
soooooooo are you planning on giving the husband a hint or no? slip a little note, into his car suggesting he come home at 930 unannounced or something of the sorts.... maybe its overstepping, but as someone whom has been cheated on, the husband should know
pandaandthepitty 12
I agree. No one deserves that. Maybe if people stop hiding that they know, people won't do it and just end the relationship before they do anything traumatizing like that.
RichardPencil 32
Why do you need a job when blackmail could be a source of steady income for you? Maybe you could become a private investigator. You'd look great with a Tom Selleck 'stache!
Jesse Duff 15
no one will hire you because your a gossiping busy body, maybe pay more attention to your life than everyone elses