Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
ideclarewar 0
YDI for using the word "immacualte" SPPPPPPOOOOOOOIIIILLLLLLEEEEEEDDDDDD.
thenmymomgotajob 0
Everyone saying he deserved it for playing his music loud is ******* retarded. He said he was passing them, which means that the guys in the SUV would only have to deal with his music for, at the most, 5 seconds. Besides that, you just DON'T **** around with a man's car. IMO that's the biggest way to be an asshole to someone.
OTC 0
#53, you're a dumb ass and you sound ignorant.
donovanrammstein 3
Um, if getting your leather seats dirty makes your life FML-able, I'd hate to think what it would be like if something serious happened, like a bird crapping on your hood.
ohhhhshizzz 0
"And I bet those wana be "gangstas" were prolly blastin that S*** that they call music, in their damn escalade, with their low profiles and spinners going round-n-round, with their pants around their ankles cause "they so hood"... They need to go die in a fire." Okay, the first part was just stupid, and stereotypical. Stop watching rap videos, if you think that is the way everyone is. You sound very stupid, and obnoxious. NO ONE deserves to die in a fire, so **** you! Everyone complaining about music, EVERYONE has their genre prefrences no need to be such a bitch about it. It isn't that hard. Some people like rap, some like rock, screamo, pop, techno, classical, punk pop, etc. See where I'm going? Not everyone is going to listen to what YOU like, so deal the hell with it. OP: I would have NOT done that if I was in the SUV, I would have just blasted some All TIme Low or You Me At Six, of if I were feeling really bitchy Escape the Fate and started a music war. But that's just me I like to do things like that.
percypigs 0
you dont have to put a - in wannabe anymore
plexico 4
You should see the looks me and my nerd friends get when we cruise down the street with the top down blasting NPR! Carl Kasell totally rocks the giant sub-woofer that takes up my entire trunk!
michelledaguila 0
#53: go **** yourself for posting such a dumbass comment. I think those guys were immature teens for throwing their shakes at you (really really highschool). But don't say they were gangsters only because they were driving an SUV. That gives someone else the same right to call you a conceited rich boy because of the way you describe your car and that fact that you were driving with the convertible top down with music blasting. The guys are assholes: you don't have to put a social label on them because you want to rant on FML. Ps: sorry about your car. But if you can afford that car and the kick ass system you seem to have, I'm sure you bought insurance and can afford a decent cleaner that will clear the stains right off.
giraffegirl13 0
ha, it's not wrong to blast music. sometimes its a really good song and you want it to be loud! i think everyone does it at one point or another; and no one deserves what happened to this person
ams116 0
can someone explain to me how a monkey was smart enough to drive a car and throw a milkshake out the window?