Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
liltys 0
#142... lighten up, live a little. im proud to say im "that guy" at the stop light blaring my music out of the car. if you dont like it too bad you only have to listen for a minute or two and if you really have a problem turn your music up. #176 thats kinda funny.
attebury1 0
LOL what cool guys, that's what I would drink if I was a gangbanger, milkshakes. Seriously though that sucks man I'm sorry
protooler31 0
not like these thugs would have the money anyways, but lawwwwsuuiiit
theecoeytauxx 0
First of all everyone blasts their music even my 82 grand dad so to everyone saying it's his fault shut the **** up. Second of all I've been woken up countless times at 3 in the morning by gangbangers blasting that shit they call music (look it up the definition of music includes melody) and nobody has done anything to stop them. There is nothing bad to be said about classic rock those assholes just thing they have to hate rock because all they are are gangbanger wannabes. Also they were jealous of your convertible cause your succesful in life while their stuck driving around in their gas guzzling car with no future cause they didn't give a shit about education. It sucks ass what happened to you but just know that karma's a bitch and they'll get what they deserve.
GR3453m0nk3y 4
#167, they were black stop trying to sound not-racist and grow some balls nobody here thinks they werent
b478 0
idk if anyone bothered to read the small font under his post, but he lives in new mexico. not that it really matters in the grand scheme of things, but there are like 5 black people in new mexico. the people who threw the milkshakes at him were probably mexicans. sorry about your car. you did not deserve that. you should have followed them and ran them off the road
hXcsoccerplaya 0
@40 people blast music all the time. where I live, old folks try to push noise ordinances on us all the time, but they always get shot down. i fell sorry for you if you have never had the experience of blasting any kind of music with 310 watt subs and mixed company moshing in the back. hell to the yeah.
rwac07 0
rnb ftw
BoWZeR 1
u deserve it 4 being a queer and playing gay ass music
cookiemobzta 0
#45 you wouldn't do shit, you would have cried