Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML
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Top comments
shaytards_fml 9
a guy sent me a pic once, I couldn't open it, so I gave to my father. it was a penis too...
blackonblight 33
Because "no" is met with "why not?" "Don't be a bitch" "just give me a chance" "******* **** I bet you gave it out to very one else you just don't want to admit you're a *****" "frigid bitch I was tryina be nice see what that gets me?" And so on and so forth?
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Comments (116)
DotDootyDot 17
You deserve it for not paying attention, but I totally understand needing to give fake numbers when a guy cannot take a "no" (which happens way more often than people can think!!!). So both FYL for having to deal with obnoxious dudes and YDI for giving your mom's number (even if by mistake).
mathew56765 8
I wonder who else got dick pics.
silencebabyy 23
She was a drunk. Maybe thats why she was giving random numbers or maybe she intentionally gave random numbers because she couldnt determine the type of guy thats trying to talk to her while under the influence.
chrisstachon 30
yeah like that wouldn't be an awkward breakfast
sanecatlady 13
If that's when you get a "little" drunk I'd to see what happens if you get really hammered. YDI
Shrouds 14
Give me your number and we can find out together?
mdw7 12
No one can force you to give them your number. Say NO and say it louder and louder and say nothing else. Just say no and walk away. And don't tell me 'obviously you haven't ...' Etc. Because I have. I'm just strong and smart enough to know no one can elicit information I don't want to release. Say no, walk away.
stargirl_95 24
Well it's great for you that you've dealt with guys who are respectful enough to let you walk away. The few times I tried that the guy would grab my arm and pull me towards him. And then there are those girls who have been attacked for saying no. So no, your little technique doesn't work for everyone in every case and most of the time it is generally safer to give out a fake number.
earthrise56 1
exactly weak minds. also just because you get drunk doesn't mean you still aren't responsible. don't get blasted then wander home alone common sense...especially for woman...
Km1490 20
did your mom complain? :p
arre2006 19
way to screw over your mom. classy
Rodville 28
I knew a girl that was attacked for refusing to give out her number. Some guys are assholes. It's sad and makes me feel guilty for my gender but it happens. Guys feel that they are gods gift and if you don't open it they get stupid.